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Show shall go on

134K views 5.5K replies 32 participants last post by  Admin  
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Keep it going for you guys. Let's keep the politics limited this time.

A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancée to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man.

The father invites the fiancée to his library for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he says. "A Torah scholar? Hmmm," the father says.

"Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she is accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man said, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies. "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.

The conversation continues like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insist that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks: "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers: "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."
 
#2,334 ·
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F clamps to glue the floor board in place….only had three of the 6" ones, so a single 12" was added in…..c clamp had other chores
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My collection of "smalls".....like these better than spring clamps….
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Projects at the moment are a bit too small,,,for the forest of pipe clamps…
 

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#2,337 ·
Can anyone with a good sob story steal Hot Pockets and Corona Extra here in the bar based on Seattle policy?

- TopamaxSurvivor

thats insane but that kind of stupidity seems to be happening more and more.

- pottz
Sort of a reversal of what built America. I once read and economics book saying the key was stability and predictability with peaceful poetical transitions. Both are slipping fast ;-((
 
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#2,341 ·
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some schmuck put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.
 
#2,342 ·
Two guys were working at a sawmill one day when one of the guys got too close to the blade and cut off his arm. His buddy put the severed arm in a plastic bag and rushed it down to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day he goes to see his chum, and finds him playing tennis. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing."

Another month goes by and the same two guys are again at the sawmill working when the same guy gets too close to the spinning blade and this time his leg gets cut off. Again his buddy takes the leg, puts it in a plastic bag and takes it to the hospital to get re-attached. The next day, he goes down to see his chum and finds him outside playing football. "Incredible!," says his friend. "Medical science is amazing!"

Well another month goes by and again the same two friends are at the mill cutting wood when suddenly the same guy bends down too close to the blade and off comes his head. Well his friend takes the head, puts it in a plastic bag, and heads to the hospital to get it re-attached. The next day he goes to see his friend but can't find him. He sees the doctor walking down the hall and says, "Doc, where is my friend? I brought him in yesterday."

The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Oh yeah, some schmuck put his head in a plastic bag and he suffocated.

- corelz125
now thats the best pg joke yet.
 
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#2,348 ·
we may not hear from dw tonight he's been trying to post all day and he keeps getting a message that says application error a message has been sent to resolve the matter.weird because he can go on other threads no problem it's only this one that wont let him on.
 
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#2,349 ·
we may not hear from dw tonight he s been trying to post all day and he keeps getting a message that says application error a message has been sent to resolve the matter.weird because he can go on other threads no problem it s only this one that wont let him on.

- pottz
Well that sucks. Really enjoy his posts.
 
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#2,351 · (Edited by Moderator)
i wanna share this with you guys,most people wont even admit they have ever heard one of his songs.but in the mid seventies he was the biggest selling pop artist in the world.he has influenced and inspired me for over 45 years.listen and enjoy john denvers music as i have.


- pottz

+1 This is a favorite amongst the 11th and 12th students and many times they sing along…
an it is PG!

- Desert_Woodworker

really that surprises me.i got hooked when i was in the 6th grade.

- pottz
Been away a long time and now I know why I'll stay away for longer.
When you need some real muscle squeezing you get one of these.
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- corelz125
I just close my eyes, grit my tooth (yeah only one left to anchor the bottom denture… and used to pattern my rims of my baked pies) and hold onto the dunny roll… remember what they are?
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- woodbutcherbynight
More chance of resurrecting cars than all the lost souls that have GPS on their phones.

Done my dirty… with the thousands of replies I refuse to read (skipped to the bottom), I'll go back to my Mustard bottle and rc's bloody stupid gate.
 

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