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Show shall go on

135K views 5.5K replies 32 participants last post by  Admin  
#1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Keep it going for you guys. Let's keep the politics limited this time.

A young woman visits her parents and brings her fiancée to meet them. After an elaborate dinner, the mother tells her husband to find out about the young man.

The father invites the fiancée to his library for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he says. "A Torah scholar? Hmmm," the father says.

"Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she is accustomed to?"

"I will study," the young man said, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies. "God will provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancée.

The conversation continues like this, and each time the father questions, the young idealist insist that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks: "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers: "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he thinks I'm God."
 
#1,127 ·
Petey- about the vaccine-I am blessed to be in a position of choice. Government and employment requirements that will require a "certificate" to travel or work. Choices… a saying to students exiting "Remember to Make Good Choices".

Is it safe? Former Bush and Obama will take the vaccine live on media… trust that then I'll trust this last presidential voter election results.

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#1,129 ·
Joke meister just came in… I m out of here…

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- Desert_Woodworker
just remember this is his house,your just a guest?

too bad your leaving so early dw,weve got hickory smoked prime rib paired with a napa cabernet on tonights menu,sure to sell out.oh hey doesn't matter i just checked with hostess,she says were already booked. ;-) corelz bar and grill is booming and were covid free.
 

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#1,131 ·
Little Johnny wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents for days.

Finally, his mother talked his reluctant father into taking him.

Little Johnny thought to himself that there was quite a large number of horses at this zoo

He wondered where all the other animals were, but was still happy to see the horses.

"So how was it?" his mother asked when they returned home.

"Great," Little Johnny replied.

"Did you and your father have a good time?" asked his mother.

"Yeah, Daddy especially liked it," exclaimed Little Johnny excitedly, especially when one of the animals came home at 30 to 1!"
 
#1,132 ·
Petey this one is for you

A blonde arrived for her first golf lesson and the pro asked her to take a swing at a ball to see how she'd do.

The blonde did so and completely duffed the shot.

The pro said "Your swing is good but you're gripping the club too hard grip the club gently as you would your husband's p3ns.".

The blonde took another shot and nailed the ball 275 yards straight down the fairway.

The pro said "That was excellent!!

Let's try it again, only this time take the club out of your mouth.
 
#1,139 ·
Did that sign scare away RCC?

- corelz125
C125 you and RCC were praised by Cricket whereas Pottz and D_W have been to the woodshed. The question to the Corelz Bar and Grill does the sign have to stay up? Top Max come home…

Regarding the bathroom sign at the grill- does anyone remember the vending machines in the 1960's movie theaters?

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to this

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The new sign should include the handicapped…

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and always with a Braile touch pad
 

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#1,140 · (Edited by Moderator)
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we are promoting sweet drinks and coffee
with our craft made dessert hot pocket…

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Look who is coming to the patio…

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- Desert_Woodworker
sorry but the beagle is a little more sophisticated than that dw.

actually the dire wolf took her to dinner last night at the grill for those staeks.he was a total gentleman!
 

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#1,141 ·
The beagles coming in for her night shift

- corelz125

Sad Pottz doesn t realize that they want Pottina and Hot Pockets…

- Desert_Woodworker
sorry dw the beagles and everyone else like my new bbq and grill menu,as in (corelz bar and grill) not corelz hot pocket mess! this isn't a small town drive through.
 
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#1,142 ·
had a Drill Sargent once….he always carried a comb in his shirt pocket…....once day, we happened to ask about that comb…..

"Well, you see, I need this for when I go pee…...I comb the hair down there…whichever hair stands up, that is the one I use.."
 
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#1,145 ·
Now we have to be tied off in any lift. First thing we do as ironworkers is start climbing on the rails to reach. There s been times I say to the other guy just go up with the machine another 6" instead of standing on the rail.

- corelz125
I started my apprenticeship walking beams at about 40'. One of the journeyman told me there wasn't any steel over 49' because high time at 50' paid double bubble ;-) If anyone was caught holding on everyone said, "Two hands for Fischbach!" Fischbach & Moore was the electrical contractors name. They started the 6' fall protection rule in the early 80s I think. Last job I worked with steel beams they required a written safety plan every morning.
If you were working without rails, a separate written plan was required, it was reviewed by the safety guy then he inspected the area and went over every step. By then it was quitting time and you had to start the process all over the next day ;-)) I cheated a little. We were supposed to go through that process if we reached over a guard rail on a catwalk. Reaching foot or so without touching the guard rails is a little ridiculous for that rule.

The welfare of the People is the alibi of the Rat Patrol.

Ever seen what unchecked roof rats can do to the interior of a home? I have, in my house when I bought it. I had to clean their filth fully hazmat, most disgusting thing I ever had to do, probably. And then close up every single rat expressway I could find with cement, broken glass, and chicken-wire. I stopped counting how many carcasses had I found in the walls and elsewhere as I proceeded through the reno, sometimes in the darndest places. Remember that 70´s movie Williard, about the evil NYC rat God? Had anxiety dreams like that movie about rats crawling over my kids while they were sleeping. Happy to report my house is 100% rat-free.

- wildwoodbybrianjohns
I did not do much residential. but….. One house I was under had so much rat poop I didn't feel safe unarmed! I did occasionally see a few dropping above commercial ceilings. The one that bothered me the most was in a hospital ;-(

I guess around here, the re called 33 POUND cylinders…..

Anything higher than 6 above the ground….and, within 6 of an edge…..we had to wear that harness.

- bandit571
Probably ;-)) 33 gallons would be over 120 pounds! ;-(( We call them by gallons here.
 
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#1,148 ·
Here the tie off stuff really got strict the last 15 year's we had a little leeway but now there's no breaks for anyone. It's the law have to keep the bathroom signs up . nothing we can do about it. Hot pockets are for the crowd before 2pm until the smoke meister gets going
 
#1,149 · (Edited by Moderator)
TopMax

I have been to Intercourse PA, you did not mention Blue Ball PA.

Corelz thanks for the golf joke.

DW in the small town I grew up in we had a small movie theater, when you touched the vending machine and the water fountain at the same time you got an electric shock. BTW in my town the movies where "up town" never down town. That town stills says "up town"...just a little quirk.

High of 60 today, It is 67 in the house, I am freezing, I won't put the heat on because I live in Fl. It's cold enough to warn of iguanas falling from trees.

Golf at 12:30 I usually play in the am. I will probably do a little sanding just to get the carpal tunnel going.

Have a great day.
 
#1,150 ·
Here the tie off stuff really got strict the last 15 year s we had a little leeway but now there s no breaks for anyone. It s the law have to keep the bathroom signs up . nothing we can do about it. Hot pockets are for the crowd before 2pm until the smoke meister gets going

- corelz125
Who ordered in McDonald's? Driver is here to drop it off.

Seriously?? McDonald's??
 
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#1,151 ·
Here the tie off stuff really got strict the last 15 year s we had a little leeway but now there s no breaks for anyone. It s the law have to keep the bathroom signs up . nothing we can do about it. Hot pockets are for the crowd before 2pm until the smoke meister gets going

- corelz125

Who ordered in McDonald s? Driver is here to drop it off.

Seriously?? McDonald s??

- woodbutcherbynight
i think thats dw's breakfast.
 
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