[Desert_Woodworker]

NATIONAL FRUITCAKE DAY

and if you have the money…

 

[corelz125]

Little Billy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a btch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a btch is nine."

In that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is saying.

"Billy, what are you doing? Why are you saying that?"

Little Billy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?"

He replied, "Yes."

The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Billy's school to talk to the teacher.

The mother said to his math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems."

Billy's mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b_tch is four?"

When the teacher stopped laughing she replied, "Not at all! What I taught them was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS four."

 

[corelz125]

A guy goes over to his friend's house, rings the bell, and the wife answers.

"Hi, is Tony home?"

"No, he went to the store.", she replies.

"Well, you mind if I wait?"

"No, come in."

They sit down and the friend says "You know Nora, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one."Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell - a hundred bucks. She opens her robe and shows one. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says "They are so beautiful I've got to see the both of them. I'll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together."

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can't wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says "You know, your weird friend Chris came over. "

Tony thinks about this for a second and says "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

 

[wildwoodbybrianjohns]

like my buddy tony says,pictures or it didn t happen!

- pottz

Ok then. You all can post pictures of your wives, and I will let you know if you have won!!! Or not….........

 

[wildwoodbybrianjohns]

Guy gets a letter inviting him to join Mensa; who are meeting Friday.

Our boy rushes out to the store and asks for eveything written by Plato, in the original Greek. And for all of Shakespeare in the olde English. Oh, and a calculator with full logorithmic function. Full log.

The man behind the counter asks if our guy is a member of Mensa?

Our guy proudly replies in the affirmative; and wonders aloud why he was asked?

Well, for one thing, this is a butcher shop….............

 

[woodbutcherbynight]

 

[woodbutcherbynight]

 

[TopamaxSurvivor]

Little Billy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a btch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a btch is nine."

In that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is saying.

"Billy, what are you doing? Why are you saying that?"

Little Billy answered, "I'm doing my math homework, Mom."

She said, "And is that what your teacher taught you?"

He replied, "Yes."

The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Billy's school to talk to the teacher.

The mother said to his math teacher, "I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math?"

The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition problems."

Billy's mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b_tch is four?"

When the teacher stopped laughing she replied, "Not at all! What I taught them was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS four."

- corelz125

;-)) Good one! I wonder if that could correct the math in Seattle. 2 + 2 can equal anything there.

 

[TopamaxSurvivor]

I'm sure the guy that wrote the chart limiting most to 170 pounds couldn't clean and jerk 100# overhead with one hand. I never lifted weights. Just discovered that one day when I was at a friend's house who did. Tried it just to find out ;-) Several times doctors asked if I was taking steroids. No. Just natural from growing up stacking 300 tons of hay every summer. I was about 215 when my avatar picture was taken. My suspenders didn't touch anything between my chest and where they attached to my trousers. Rather than the weight limit chart the suspenders test is probably more appropriate ;-)

One of the kids I went to school with was very skinny. The coach told him he needed to lift some weights to put on a little meat for football season. He told his dad he needed some weights. His dad told him to move a hay stack. If that wasn't enough, put it back where it was. ;-)

Our football team was dominating the league for a couple years. They were afraid the others would vote them into the next league with bigger schools. There was an exhibition game with a bigger school from Boise I believe. Our team dominated that game. The kids were shocked! The coach said it was because they were in such much better shape being active working on their dad's farms all year round instead of just "shaping up" for football season ;-) I'm sticking with the suspenders test instead of the weight limit chart.

 

[TopamaxSurvivor]

Petey, I see golf on today. Looks like they are playing in a lake in the desert in Missouri. I didn't know there was a desert in Missouri ;-)

 

[pottz]

Petey, I see golf on today. Looks like they are playing in a lake in the desert in Missouri. I didn t know there was a desert in Missouri ;-)

- TopamaxSurvivor

thats why they call it misery bob-lol.

 

[woodbutcherbynight]

Been in shop all day. Took apart previous Drill Press cart. the sides will go back on new framework but bit wider and will have this parts washer built into top. Should squeeze maybe 4 drawers out of it. Lose some space having the parts washer hang down into the cabinet, about 5 inches total. Got the new frames made up, one required a panel to be glued in the bottom. Glue can dry till tomorrow when I get back in shop.

Parts bins got last coat of paint. Tuesday I should be moving 1/4 stuff into the top drawer and see what bins I will need for 2nd drawer.

 

[pottz]

hey i was in the shop today myself so the smoker is cold boys,who wants to cook tonight?

 

[pottz]

looks like a slow night,i may close up early tonight.no food for those that show up,but hey we got plenty of booze boys.the fire on the patio is roaring and the bar maids are even hotter!!!

 

[TopamaxSurvivor]

Kiss 2020 good bye ;-)

https://www.newyorker.com/cartoon/a24665

 

[Desert_Woodworker]

looks like a slow night,i may close up early tonight.no food for those that show up,but hey we got plenty of booze boys.the fire on the patio is roaring and the bar maids are even hotter!!!

- pottz

Across the street at the church- the pastor had a Jack in the Box food truck brought in.

I brought home a strawberry shake and 2 tocos

 

[pottz]

looks like a slow night,i may close up early tonight.no food for those that show up,but hey we got plenty of booze boys.the fire on the patio is roaring and the bar maids are even hotter!!!

- pottz

Across the street at the church- the pastor had a Jack in the Box food truck brought in.

I brought home a strawberry shake and 2 tocos

- Desert_Woodworker

those tacos made with,some say,cat food are damn good around midnight when youve been drinking.their still the same as when i had the first one about 50 years ago.damn dw now i wont some-lol.

 

[pottz]

well no shows so im gonna close boys,damn it's a shame all these lovely ladies and just me,im sure swmbo wont mind if i bring a few "friends" home tonight.thank god she goes too bed early! night guys.

 

[TopamaxSurvivor]

pottz, you are over 2000, just not by Christmas. ;-(

 

[woodbutcherbynight]