New Economic Stimulus Payments

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Forum topic by Karson posted 02-19-2009 04:22 AM 3833 views 0 times favorited 103 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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35211 posts in 5009 days

02-19-2009 04:22 AM

The New Economic Stimulus Payments

“Q. What is an Economic Stimulus Payment?
“A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

“Q. Where will the government get this money?
“A. From the taxpayers.

“Q. So the government is giving me back my own money?
“A. Only a smidgen.

“Q. What is the purpose of this payment?
“A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy.

“Q. But isn’t that stimulating the economy of China?
“A. Shut up.”

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US economy by spending your stimulus check wisely:
If you spend that money at Wal-Mart, all the money will go to China.

If you spend it on gasoline it will go to the Arabs.

If you purchase a computer it will go to India.

If you purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico,
Honduras, and Guatemala (unless you buy organic).

If you buy a car it will go to Japan.

If you purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan.

And none of it will help the American economy.

We need to keep that money here in America. You can keep the money in America by spending it at yard sales, going to a baseball game, or spend it on prostitutes, beer (domestic ONLY), or tattoos, since those are the only businesses still in the US.

-- I've been blessed with a father who liked to tinker in wood, and a wife who lets me tinker in wood. Appomattox Virginia [email protected]

103 replies so far

View John Gray's profile

John Gray

2370 posts in 4494 days

#1 posted 02-19-2009 04:31 AM

I like the prostitute part BUT I don’t think my wife would go for it.

-- Only the Shadow knows....................

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

14182 posts in 4592 days

#2 posted 02-19-2009 04:33 AM

keep the money in America by spending it on quarter sawn white oak

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

12002 posts in 4037 days

#3 posted 02-19-2009 04:42 AM

+1 Dan. And Black Walnut, AD only, though.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View Sean's profile


156 posts in 4224 days

#4 posted 02-19-2009 04:45 AM

You know what, Econ was the only class i ever flunked in school. but i thought that was the whole point of the stimulus package, was that they didnt want to give out tax cuts and money, just for the reason above, or because it would get used to pay bills or get thrown into savings. The stimulus was supposed to go into infrastructure, manufacturing and construction type stuff right? because those industries support a lot of other subsidiary industries, suppliers, manufacturers, restaraunts where the people eat, gas stations they stop in to get donuts on the way to work, cars to get people to work, roads paved to get people to work, etc. Didnt they orignially have not much in tax cuts?

And this might be for another forum, but can someone please explain something to me: the current downward spiral, as i hear all the pundits and economists and everyone say, was started by the crash in the housing market, which is continuing to pull us down because it shut down credit that everyone needs to continue working, building, buying…And the market crisis was brought about because of these balloon interest loans, fraudulent loan officers, etc. that people cant make right? so…why cant the banks just realize they’re going to have to eat it for that extra interest they want to charge, and just charge a regular interest rate? I mean, yeah, they’ll take a huge hit, or at least their investors will…but, wont they take a huge hit by not being able to get ANY money, principal or interest, if they foreclose and no one buys the house? I havent heard anyone just tell the banks to suck it up and drive on.

-- "Democracy is by far the worst system of government. Except all the others that have been tried." ~ Winston Churchill

View mrtrim's profile


1696 posts in 4489 days

#5 posted 02-19-2009 04:49 AM

if you spend it on prostitutes watch out for the ones with all their teeth , they are cops !! i heard that any ways

View Blake's profile


3443 posts in 4483 days

#6 posted 02-19-2009 04:50 AM

Hilarious, Karson.

Time for another tattoo.

-- Happy woodworking!

View itsme_timd's profile


690 posts in 4440 days

#7 posted 02-19-2009 04:50 AM

Oh man, Sean, I’m getting dizzy from all the seriousness you’re laying down in here!!! 8-P

Good one Karson, now I finally understand the stimulus plan. But, even our domestic beers (Budweiser) are owned by foreign companies (InBev) now!

-- Tim D. - Woodstock, GA

View Sean's profile


156 posts in 4224 days

#8 posted 02-19-2009 04:54 AM

Im just wonderin! i mean, honestly i really did flunk econ, i dont get it at ALL. and you can never get a straight answer out of anyone, they keep looking to see if you are ‘left’ or ‘right’ first, so they can toss an insult your way.

-- "Democracy is by far the worst system of government. Except all the others that have been tried." ~ Winston Churchill

View scottb's profile


3648 posts in 4936 days

#9 posted 02-19-2009 06:08 AM

beer and prostitutes – well it is a stimulus package ;)

-- I am always doing what I cannot do yet, in order to learn how to do it. - Van Gogh -- --

View Quixote's profile


206 posts in 4247 days

#10 posted 02-19-2009 06:37 AM

Sean, you’re right, in this volatile time too many people are very emotional about the whole issue, which leads to insults and not a lot of good info. I like to share analogies.

The idea behind the stimulus package is sold to the voting public as a way to stimulate the economy, to help people buy things, from people who produce things who then have to buy things from other people and pay employees who take their paycheck to buy other things… It’s a magic dollar that keeps passing around to keep folks working and spending.

The problem is that many people do not understand economics, and kudos’ to you Sean for saying so.

Many people believe that the federal government is like Aunt Sally who sent you a $10 bill for your birthday. Aunt Sally saved it in her cookie jar and shared it with you. Hey, for you it’s free money…

Unfortunatly, Uncle Sam, or any government who is handing out money, only has a limited number of options for getting the money in the first place. The government cannot create wealth or value.

Through taxes, the money Uncle Sam gives you, is money that he took from your brother. Except he took twenty bucks from your brother, spent part of it to pay salaries of federal workers and other giveaways that you aren’t part of , but you still get ten dollars. To you it’s free money.

Next week your brother gets ten bucks, but it’s from the twenty Uncle Sam took away from you… Hey, look, now your brother has free money.

Congratulations, you now both have stimulus money to go out to lunch.


-- I don't make sawdust...I produce vast quantities of "Micro Mulch."

View dustyal's profile


1313 posts in 4084 days

#11 posted 02-19-2009 06:39 AM

I took up woodworking so I could help stimulate the economy! A new tool here, there a tool, everywhere a tool… one of these days I might even get some wood…

Vocabulary word for the day:

Liquidity: When you look at your investments and wet your pants.

-- Al H. - small shop, small projects...

View Quixote's profile


206 posts in 4247 days

#12 posted 02-19-2009 06:39 AM


You’re an absolute gem, thanks for posting this..


-- I don't make sawdust...I produce vast quantities of "Micro Mulch."

View chscholz's profile


36 posts in 4685 days

#13 posted 02-19-2009 02:39 PM

In my opinion the problem we have created “virtual wealth” (creative financing, borderline Ponzi schemes, overinflated appraisals, etc.), whereas our competitors have created real wealth (in the traditional way: buy raw materials add labor, sell the results for more than you spent).
Of course that had to collapse eventually.
No doubt the stimulus plan will help but hardly address the fundamental problem.

-- Chris Scholz, Arlington, TX,

View Dan'um Style's profile

Dan'um Style

14182 posts in 4592 days

#14 posted 02-19-2009 02:52 PM

-- keeping myself entertained ... Humor and fun lubricate the brain

View jm540's profile


150 posts in 4028 days

#15 posted 02-19-2009 04:19 PM

I am hearing we are going to spend this and spend that to do this and that.
What I want to hear is get of your butt America it’s time to get back to Being the greatest industrial nation in the world and we’re going to do it off the sweat of our brow . we need to make better products and competitive prices then Walmart (I hate those guys) would tell chinees manufacturers if you can’t produce this level of quality for this price we’ll help you relocate your manufacturing to America. not creative bs pass out money to a bunch of people iee.. the fed who already lost 100 billion so they can spend=lose money

Dave Ramsey had the best stimulus plan I have heard he said they should give a $20,000 dollar tax credit to every business for every employee they hire and keep. It would only cost 60billion to get everyone of unemployment. so that money would not be going out and income tax would be coming in
I would go hire someone to work in my basement for $14 an hour right now. with my $20,000 credit I would have a free employee for a year. If I couldn’t make a profit on things with free labor I’m an idiot and should go work for someone else for $10 hour. anyway less cost. everyone has a job they buy cars, houses, and lumber.

win win

-- jay Rambling on and on again

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