carpentry sayings/quotes

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Forum topic by bob riley posted 09-15-2014 12:10 AM 2433 views 0 times favorited 21 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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bob riley

14 posts in 2126 days

09-15-2014 12:10 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

this post is for everyone to share any sayings they know from carpentry. e.g.. its must be windy out here or I think this is a left handed hammer

21 replies so far

View woodbutcherbynight's profile


6069 posts in 3185 days

#1 posted 09-16-2014 01:06 AM

old one but so true, measure twice, cut once.

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View Jay Nolet's profile

Jay Nolet

75 posts in 2815 days

#2 posted 09-17-2014 10:42 PM

While I was doing carpentry for a living, one would need a “Sky hook” once in a while.

-- I think, therefore I think I am.

View Gene Howe's profile

Gene Howe

12184 posts in 4204 days

#3 posted 09-17-2014 10:56 PM

Cut it large and kick it into place.
If it doesn’t fit, you’re not hitting it hard enough.
Don’t force it, get a bigger hammer.
If it jams, hit it harder. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.

-- Gene 'The true soldier fights not because he hates what is in front of him, but because he loves what is behind him.' G. K. Chesterton

View BurlyBob's profile


7619 posts in 3041 days

#4 posted 11-10-2016 05:07 PM

An old Mentor of mine use to tell me when I was trying to be very accurate, “You ain’t building a piano”. I seem to recall him also saying, ” there’s a reason they call it rough carpentry”.

View oldnovice's profile


7563 posts in 4144 days

#5 posted 11-10-2016 08:26 PM

“I cut this piece three times and it is still too short!

-- "It's fine in practise but it will never work in theory"

View chrisstef's profile


18094 posts in 3782 days

#6 posted 11-10-2016 08:28 PM

“Nothin a little brute force and ignorance wont cure.”

-- Its not a crack, its a casting imperfection.

View diverlloyd's profile


3926 posts in 2633 days

#7 posted 11-10-2016 09:09 PM

Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity.

Carpentry is easy not as easy as plumbing since all they are is a carpenter with their brains beat in.

View Hammerthumb's profile


3055 posts in 2751 days

#8 posted 11-10-2016 10:50 PM

Get the wood stretcher.

-- Paul, Duvall, WA

View BurlyBob's profile


7619 posts in 3041 days

#9 posted 11-10-2016 11:33 PM

Rule #1 in my shop- “Stay out of my damn light!”

View Smitty_Cabinetshop's profile


16710 posts in 3394 days

#10 posted 11-11-2016 12:02 AM

Strive for perfection, settle for excellence.


Never fart in the workspace.


Good enough for who it’s for.
(yeah, there’s a bit of conflict between 1 and 3)

-- Don't anthropomorphize your handplanes. They hate it when you do that. - OldTools Archive -

View papadan's profile


3584 posts in 4144 days

#11 posted 11-11-2016 12:48 AM

Measure once…cuss twice!

View murch's profile


1380 posts in 3400 days

#12 posted 11-11-2016 11:54 AM

Screw it quick before it moves again. (this phrase can be used in various interesting situations).

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

View ChrisK's profile


2046 posts in 3857 days

#13 posted 11-11-2016 01:56 PM

If you are going to be stupid you need to be tough!

-- Chris K

View GnarlyErik's profile


330 posts in 2910 days

#14 posted 11-15-2016 10:04 PM

“You can have it good, quick or cheap; pick any two!”

-- "Never let your dogma be run over by your karma!"

View Gerald Thompson's profile

Gerald Thompson

1252 posts in 3010 days

#15 posted 11-16-2016 01:32 AM

Measure with a broom handle, mark it with chalk, cut it with an axe, beat it to fit and paint it to match.

-- Jerry

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