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Forum topic by Jerry posted 08-17-2020 03:48 AM 929 views 0 times favorited 15 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


08-17-2020 03:48 AM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

From: Gerald Hunsucker

Sent: Friday, August 14, 2020 6:35 PM
To: Lee Valley Service

Subject: Why is this tool not available to order online
 
I can’t see any reason why you would refuse to offer this online, why is it not available?
 
Optical Center Punch

— 
Jerry ( Gerald ) L. Hunsucker

THEIR RESPONSE

On Fri, Aug 14, 2020 at 4:05 PM Lee Valley Service <customerservice> wrote:

Thank you for your email. Veritas had discontinued production of the Optical Center Punch (05N5901) quite a while ago and we currently only have remaining stock in a few Canadian stores. Unfortunately our stores are unable to ship to the United States.
 
Should you require any further assistance, please feel free to contact us at any time.
 
Regards,
 
Bret
Internet Customer Service
Lee Valley Tools Ltd.

MY RESPONSE

From: Gerald Hunsucker
Sent: Friday, August 14, 2020 7:11 PM

To: Lee Valley Service <customerservice>
Subject: Re: Why is this tool not available to order online
 
Hi Bret.
 
This answer mystifies me on so many levels…
 
Why are you not able to ship from Canada to the US?
 
I recently purchased a helical cutter head for my planer from a Canadian company, Sheartak.
 
If he was able to manage to ship a 50 lb cutterhead to me, how is it you can’t manage a few ounces of tools?

THEIR RESPONSE

Lee Valley Service
Good afternoon,
 
Lee Valley Head Office is based in Ottawa, Ontario.  Our main warehouse in Ottawa, ships out of country. This process is centralized.
 
Also, during this pandemic, we are not depleting stock from our stores to benefit our main warehouse as some of our suppliers are presently experiencing difficulties in completing orders.
 
Once this Covid-19 situation returns to normal, we will re-establish “store to warehouse” transfers and we may be able to help you at that time.
 
We apologize for the inconvenience this may cause.
 
Regards,
 
Jean
Internet Customer Service
Lee Valley Tools Ltd

MY RESPONSE

Hello Jean,

I want you to imagine this mind – bogglingly complicated scenario for a brief moment.

I call your store in Ottawa and pay for the tiny 3 oz item with my debit card over the phone.

I send a box to your Ottawa store, inside of which is another box with a self addressed prepaid shipping label on it addressed to me.

Your store clerk places the item inside the box along with the receipt from the aforementioned phone transaction, and it gets either collected with the daily mail pickup or he drops it off at the Post Office on his way home.

I know this probably sounds completely beyond the pale of human performance and probably could never be done by a normal, everyday employee.

Perhaps I’ll call Superman and have him fly up there and pick it up for me, unless for some reason it’s against your policy to sell tools to Superman.

Yours truly,
A Former Lee Valley Customer
Gerald L. Hunsucker

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/


15 replies so far

View Jim Jakosh's profile

Jim Jakosh

27012 posts in 4396 days


#1 posted 08-17-2020 02:06 PM

Hi Jerry. If I had the center optical piece, I could make one of these. how big in diameter is the brass ring? I just wonder how good you can see the cross lines down deep in that hole…. it seems there would be a lack of light.

Cheers, Jim

-- Jim Jakosh.....Practical Wood Products...........Learn something new every day!! Variety is the Spice of Life!!

View Steve's profile

Steve

2650 posts in 1873 days


#2 posted 08-17-2020 02:44 PM

I can see your frustration with not being able to buy that online.

However, I’m not sure I would trust one of the employees at the store to be able to package it up for you and mail it themselves.

Do you know anyone near a Lee Valley in Canada that would offer to do it for you?

View Andre's profile

Andre

4850 posts in 3097 days


#3 posted 08-17-2020 03:02 PM

Just checked, none in Edmonton:( There are some in Vancouver or Saskatoon, want me to drive there and get you one?

-- Lifting one end of the plank.

View Smitty_Cabinetshop's profile

Smitty_Cabinetshop

17571 posts in 3909 days


#4 posted 08-17-2020 03:06 PM

Wow. Amazed that you successfully corresponded with a dead guy!

-- Don't anthropomorphize your handplanes. They hate it when you do that. - OldTools Archive -

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#5 posted 08-17-2020 05:00 PM



Just checked, none in Edmonton:( There are some in Vancouver or Saskatoon, want me to drive there and get you one?

- Andre

Andre, that is way too far to drive, 12 hours one way and 5 hours the other. No, don’t do that, but I sincerely thank you for the offer. You are a great friend for offering!!!

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#6 posted 08-17-2020 05:02 PM



I can see your frustration with not being able to buy that online.

However, I m not sure I would trust one of the employees at the store to be able to package it up for you and mail it themselves.

Do you know anyone near a Lee Valley in Canada that would offer to do it for you?

- Steve

Yes, I know a guy, but it’s way too far from his house.

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#7 posted 08-17-2020 05:02 PM



Hi Jerry. If I had the center optical piece, I could make one of these. how big in diameter is the brass ring? I just wonder how good you can see the cross lines down deep in that hole…. it seems there would be a lack of light.

Cheers, Jim

- Jim Jakosh

Wow, you could?! That’s amazing, but I don’t know how to get the optical piece, and I don’t know the measurements…

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#8 posted 08-17-2020 05:06 PM



Wow. Amazed that you successfully corresponded with a dead guy!

- SmittyCabinetshop

I stole that from a famous letter from Mark Twain to the telegraph office… It follows:

To the President of The Western Union, in New York:

“THE PINES”
YORK HARBOR, MAINE.

DEAR SIR,—I desire to make a complaint, and I bring it to you, the head of the company, because by experience I know better than to carry it to a subordinate.

I have been here a month and a half, and by testimony of friends, reinforced by personal experience I now feel qualified to claim as an established fact that the telegraphic service here is the worst in the world except that Boston.

These services are actually slower than was the New York and Hartford service in the days when I last complained to you—which was fifteen or eighteen years ago, when telegraphic time and train time between the mentioned points was exactly the same, to-wit, three hours and a half. Six days ago—it was that raw day which provoked so much comment—my daughter was on her way up from New York, and at noon she telegraphed me from New Haven asking that I meet her with a cloak at Portsmouth. Her telegram reached me four hours and a quarter later—just 15 minutes too late for me to catch my train and meet her.

I judge that the telegram traveled about 200 miles. It is the best telegraphic work I have seen since I have been here, and I am mentioning it in this place not as a complaint but as a compliment. I think a compliment ought always to precede a complaint, where one is possible, because it softens resentment and insures for the complaint a courteous and gentle reception.

Still, there is a detail or two connected with this matter which ought perhaps to be mentioned. And now, having smoothed the way with the compliment, I will venture them. The head corpse in the York Harbor office sent me that telegram altho (1) he knew it would reach me too late to be of any value; (2) also, that he was going to send it to me by his boy; (3) that the boy would not take the trolley and come the 2 miles in 12 minutes, but would walk; (4) that he would be two hours and a quarter on the road; (5) and that he would collect 25 cents for transportation, for a telegram which the he knew to be worthless before he started it. From these data I infer that the Western Union owes me 75 cents; that is to say, the amount paid for combined wire and land transportation—a recoup provided for in the printed paragraph which heads the telegraph-blank.

By these humane and Christian stages we now arrive at the complaint proper. We have had a grave case of illness in the family, and a relative was coming some six hundred miles to help in the sick-room during the convalescing period. It was an anxious time, of course, and I wrote and asked to be notified as to the hour of the expected arrival of this relative in Boston or in York Harbor. Being afraid of the telegraph—which I think ought not to be used in times of hurry and emergency—I asked that the desired message be brought to me by some swift method of transportation. By the milkman, if he was coming this way. But there are always people who think they know more than you do, especially young people; so of course the young fellow in charge of this lady used the telegraph. And at Boston, of all places! Except York Harbor.

The result was as usual; let me employ a statelier and exacter term, and say, historical.

The dispatch was handed to the h. c. of the Boston office at 9 this morning. It said, “Shall bring A. S. to you eleven forty-five this morning.” The distance traveled by the dispatch is forty or fifty miles, I suppose, as the train-time is five minutes short of two hours, and the trains are so slow that they can’t give a W. U. telegram two hours and twenty minutes start and overtake it.

As I have said, the dispatch was handed in at Boston at 9. The expected visitors left Boston at 9.40, and reached my house at 12 noon, beating the telegram 2 solid hours, and 5 minutes over.

The boy brought the telegram. It was bald-headed with age, but still legible. The boy was prostrate with travel and exposure, but still alive, and I went out to condole with him and get his last wishes and send for the ambulance. He was waiting to collect transportation before turning his passing spirit to less serious affairs. I found him strangely intelligent, considering his condition and where he is getting his training. I asked him at what hour the telegram was handed to the h. c. in Boston. He answered brightly, that he didn’t know.

I examined the blank, and sure enough the wary Boston h. c. had thoughtfully concealed that statistic. I asked him at what hour it had started from Boston. He answered up as brightly as ever, and said he didn’t know.

I examined the blank, and sure enough the Boston h. c. had left that statistic out in the cold, too. In fact it turned out to be an official concealment—no blank was provided for its exposure. And none required by the law, I suppose. “It is a good one-sided idea,” I remarked; “They can take your money and ship your telegram next year if they want to—you’ve no redress. The law ought to extend the privilege to all of us.”

The boy looked upon me coldly.

I asked him when the telegram reached York Harbor. He pointed to some figures following the signature at the bottom of the blank—“12.14.” I said it was now 1.45 and asked—

“Do you mean that it reached your morgue an hour and a half ago?”

He nodded assent.

“It was at that time half an hour too late to be of any use to me, if I wanted to go and meet my people—which was the case—for by the wording of the message you can see that they were to arrive at the station at 11.45. Why did, your h. c. send me this useless message? Can’t he read? Is he dead?”

“It’s the rules.”

“No, that does not account for it. Would he have sent it if it had been three years old, I in the meantime deceased, and he aware of it?”

The boy didn’t know.

“Because, you know, a rule which required him to forward to the cemetery to-day a dispatch due three years ago, would be as good a rule as one which should require him to forward a telegram to me to-day which he knew had lost all its value an hour or two before he started it. The construction of such a rule would discredit an idiot; in fact an idiot—I mean a common ordinary Christian idiot, you understand—would be ashamed of it, and for the sake of his reputation wouldn’t make it. What do you think?”

He replied with much natural brilliancy that he wasn’t paid for thinking.

This gave me a better opinion of the commercial intelligence pervading his morgue than I had had before; it also softened my feelings toward him, and also my tone, which had hitherto been tinged with bitterness.

“Let bygones be bygones,” I said, gently, “we are all erring creatures, and mainly idiots, but God made us so and it is dangerous to criticise.”

Sincerely S. L. CLEMENS._

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View James E McIntyre's profile

James E McIntyre

1576 posts in 2583 days


#9 posted 08-17-2020 06:33 PM

Jerry Tracers.com has one for about $54.05

There’s also a YouTube video on it’s use.

-- James E McIntyre

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#10 posted 08-17-2020 06:38 PM


Jerry Tracers.com has one for about $54.05

There’s also a YouTube video on it’s use.

- James E McIntyre

Thanks James,

I saw the ones on Amazon, but my problem with them is that the optical center punch hole is off to the side in all of them. For some reason that just bothers me. Go figure :-)

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View InsideTheBox's profile

InsideTheBox

125 posts in 2965 days


#11 posted 08-17-2020 07:37 PM

Jerry—thank you for the Mark Twain story. This story was wonderful to bring things back into perspective.

-- There's no such thing as a mistake; only a quick change of plans.

View Fchilly's profile

Fchilly

50 posts in 1772 days


#12 posted 08-17-2020 07:47 PM

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#13 posted 08-17-2020 07:49 PM



Jerry—thank you for the Mark Twain story. This story was wonderful to bring things back into perspective.

- InsideTheBox

Welcome my friend.

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

View wildwoodbybrianjohns's profile

wildwoodbybrianjohns

2849 posts in 838 days


#14 posted 08-17-2020 07:49 PM

“A compliment ought to precede a complaint.” Now That! is wisdom.

I like the way you handled that, a man´s man!

-- WWBBJ: It is better to be interesting and wrong, than boring and right.

View Jerry's profile

Jerry

3496 posts in 2939 days


#15 posted 08-17-2020 07:50 PM



I have this one. I would highly recommend you buy one with a cork base.

https://www.penntoolco.com/spi-fine-optical-center-punch-91-285-7/?matchtype=&network=g&device=m&keyword=&campaign=744567825&adgroup=pla-298123969145&gclid=CjwKCAjw1ej5BRBhEiwAfHyh1NQrRX-Dv7k68s0aK22MuJLdfuAx2LVoVR0FgjONI_BaXWxrjwPUHRoCQSEQAvD_BwE

- Fchilly

Thanks, that is good advice!

-- There are good ships and there are wood ships, the ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships and may they always be. http://www.geraldlhunsucker.com/

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