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Any Man Can Be A Father But It Takes Someone Special To Be A Daddy

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Forum topic by Cricket posted 05-28-2019 04:42 PM 741 views 0 times favorited 21 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Cricket

2577 posts in 2014 days


05-28-2019 04:42 PM


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What does it mean to YOU to be a father? What is the best thing about fatherhood?

This last December my daddy died. (Yes, I have always called him “daddy”.) I am not ashamed to admit that it brought me to my knees. I was beyond devastated. It was one of the most difficult times I have ever faced. With Fathers Day approaching, (June 16th) I decided that instead of falling back into the abyss, I want to celebrate dads and remember the joy he brought into my life.

What are your best memories of your father while you were growing up?

I firmly believe the following quote, so biology isn’t part of this. If you’re raising kids (or raised kids) you’re a father.

”Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy”.

-- LumberJocks.com Community Manager


21 replies so far

View lew's profile

lew

12810 posts in 4177 days


#1 posted 05-28-2019 05:34 PM


”Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Daddy”.

- Cricket

Amen

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View pottz's profile

pottz

5558 posts in 1406 days


#2 posted 05-28-2019 05:59 PM

my son was 4-1/2 when i got together with his mother,we married a year later,his father basically walked out on them,never paid child support and has had nothing to do with him for the last 23 years.my proudest moment was when he was about 5 and asked if he could call me dad!

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View Gary's profile

Gary

9398 posts in 3854 days


#3 posted 05-28-2019 09:08 PM

His laugh. I loved his laugh. Also the way he shared what he had. Always ready to help someone. Great roll model.

-- Gary, DeKalb Texas only 4 miles from the mill

View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

10648 posts in 4474 days


#4 posted 05-29-2019 05:28 AM

Cricket, just remember the exceptional GOOD TIMES…

You will like life more…

He lived to make you happy… and he DID it… celebrate it.

Happy Daddy’s day!

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: https://www.ncwoodworker.net/forums/index.php

View Desert_Woodworker's profile

Desert_Woodworker

1833 posts in 1636 days


#5 posted 05-29-2019 10:42 AM


This is an example of a child growing with an alcoholic father…
Was it all that bad?
As for the term “Daddy” IMO this term is used more so with women than with men (i.e. Mother – Mommy which is male-biased unless you are a little girl)
or as Joe L says…


Cricket, just remember the exceptional GOOD TIMES…

You will like life more…

He lived to make you happy… and he DID it… celebrate it.

Happy Daddy s day!

- Joe Lyddon


-- Desert_Woodworker

View Cricket's profile

Cricket

2577 posts in 2014 days


#6 posted 05-30-2019 05:41 PM

I wrote this back in early 2008, so the age at the end is incorrect. The minister read this at my daddy’s funeral.

When I was born, my father told his friends I was the ugliest baby he had ever seen, and that I sounded just like a cricket. I think that must have been the moment that I became my Daddy’s little princess.

As a little girl, I remember seeing my daddy sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking his first cup of coffee every morning. Because of a broken finger that never quite healed right, every time he took a drink, his pinky finger would stick up a little bit.

When I grew up, I wanted to be just like him.

By the time I was 10 years old, I was drinking coffee during the summers at my uncle Charley’s dairy farm. Back then I needed a ton of sugar and cream to drink the stuff. Nowadays I use just a little cream, and I sweeten it with the fake stuff, but to this very day, my pinky sticks up a little, every time I take a drink of my coffee.

We have always shared a love of various farm animals. Well, except for that mean old goose that used to chase me around the yard hissing at me, and nipping me in the butt when I tried to run away.

One day I saw the goose trying to do the same thing to my daddy. He turned around and stomped his foot. Then he got right in the goose’s face and said “git on out a here now”.

I thought he was teaching me how to stand up to an old goose, but what he taught me was not to run from things, to stand up and face my fears head on. It took me many years to finally learn that lesson.

I cannot begin to count how many runts I thought I could save over the years. I had a weakness for piglets that were too small to survive with the litter. He would help me sneak them past my mama, and into the house. I would set my alarm to feed them every couple of hours.

He did this, even knowing that I could not save them all, knowing that some would die, and he would have to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, but he was teaching me not to be afraid to take a risk, to have the courage to try even when all the odds were against me.

I started working at the restaurant with my daddy, in my early teens. There were times that I thought he was tougher on me than the employees. He was tough, and he expected nothing less than the best. It was many years before I realized he was teaching me good work ethics and that anything worth doing, was worth doing well.

Growing up, one of my biggest fears in life was disappointing my daddy because I could not bear to see that look in his eyes.

When I was a senior in high school some friends and I snuck out of the house to go to a party. Before that night, I had never drunk a single drop of alcohol but apparently I was making up for lost time because before I knew it, it was noon the next day.

It was time to face my daddy.

Seeing that look in his eyes was way worse than the butt whooping I got. To top it off, he still made me go to work, sicker than a dog, and praying to the porcelain god. That was one lesson in life that I learned very quickly, because I remembered it every single day of the 30 days I spent grounded afterwards.

During that same year, it was my daddy who took me for a long walk up the hill to quietly tell me that my very best friend, Ronnie Winston, had died at the age of 17. Looking up into my daddy’s eyes, I could see his heart breaking for me as he tried to explain that there are some things in life that not even daddy can fix.

It was then that I first began to truly understand the serenity prayer, to accept the things I cannot change, to have the courage to change the things I can, and above all, to have wisdom to know the difference.

It has been 46 years since I became my daddy’s little princess, and you know what? I grew up to be just like him.

I love you daddy.

- Cricket

-- LumberJocks.com Community Manager

View Desert_Woodworker's profile

Desert_Woodworker

1833 posts in 1636 days


#7 posted 05-30-2019 09:18 PM

Cricket, you stand proud on how you handle us and I am thankful for being part of LJocks.
Fathers day 2019 for me- as this day soon approaches I experience the “reverse” of what your beautiful eulogy shared. I shared something similar, but I lost 2 adult children in 2016… Therefore “Daddy” is here but they are gone…
There are a few other LJ’s out there who have lost children- I hope that they post
Sad for your loss…
DW

-- Desert_Woodworker

View Cricket's profile

Cricket

2577 posts in 2014 days


#8 posted 05-30-2019 09:21 PM

I don’t think there could be anything more painful than the loss of a child.

I am so very sorry.

-- LumberJocks.com Community Manager

View Desert_Woodworker's profile

Desert_Woodworker

1833 posts in 1636 days


#9 posted 05-30-2019 09:38 PM

Or your Daddy

Keep up your good work…

-- Desert_Woodworker

View Desert_Woodworker's profile

Desert_Woodworker

1833 posts in 1636 days


#10 posted 05-30-2019 10:13 PM

Finally here is one for you-

-- Desert_Woodworker

View pottz's profile

pottz

5558 posts in 1406 days


#11 posted 05-30-2019 10:18 PM


Cricket, you stand proud on how you handle us and I am thankful for being part of LJocks.
Fathers day 2019 for me- as this day soon approaches I experience the “reverse” of what your beautiful eulogy shared. I shared something similar, but I lost 2 adult children in 2016… Therefore “Daddy” is here but they are gone…
There are a few other LJ’s out there who have lost children- I hope that they post
Sad for your loss…
DW

- Desert_Woodworker


so sorry to hear that dw thats about as bad as it gets,not the way life is supposed to be my friend.i hope fathers day doesn’t get you down.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View AJPeacock's profile

AJPeacock

27 posts in 1116 days


#12 posted 05-30-2019 10:20 PM

I lost my ‘pop’ last October. I miss talking to him and I’m forever a better man because of watching him. He was a very strong man that was incredibly tender. My mom was ill for most of the last 10 years of her life. He took care of her and put her first every day!

He was far from perfect, but was a great example.

I just hope I’m as good of an example for my kids.

AJ

View Desert_Woodworker's profile

Desert_Woodworker

1833 posts in 1636 days


#13 posted 05-30-2019 10:36 PM

Thanks, Pottz Af first yes, then we carry on… What makes me happy is to see the reverence displayed by Cricket and others… They live and show remembrance to their loved ones… and to the survivors who have lost someone…
Best to you and others

-- Desert_Woodworker

View pottz's profile

pottz

5558 posts in 1406 days


#14 posted 05-30-2019 11:49 PM



I lost my pop last October. I miss talking to him and I m forever a better man because of watching him. He was a very strong man that was incredibly tender. My mom was ill for most of the last 10 years of her life. He took care of her and put her first every day!

He was far from perfect, but was a great example.

I just hope I m as good of an example for my kids.

AJ

- AJPeacock


you pretty much described my dad also who i lost to cancer 18 yrs ago,he was my mentor and best friend,but he’s still with me everytime i go in the shop.im sorry for your loss.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View oldnovice's profile

oldnovice

7487 posts in 3789 days


#15 posted 05-31-2019 12:10 AM

It has been very difficult in our home since December 27, 2018 as that was the day we lost our oldest son Michael.
He was was only 49 years old and very gifted in many ways.
We are still trying to cope but it is not easy by any means. Little things keep drawing us back to the good times we shared.

-- "I never met a board I didn't like!"

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