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HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM, (Aussie Style).

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Forum topic by Joe Lyddon posted 07-23-2018 06:01 PM 530 views 0 times favorited 7 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Joe Lyddon

10668 posts in 4499 days


07-23-2018 06:01 PM

Topic tags/keywords: home security home security system install aussie style joke

HOW TO INSTALL A HOME SECURITY SYSTEM, (Aussie Style).

1. Go to a second-hand store and buy a pair of men’s used size 14-16 work boots.

2. Place them on your front porch, along with a copy of ‘Guns & Ammo’ Magazine

3. Put a few giant dog dishes next to the boots and magazines.

4. Leave a note on your door that reads:

..

Hey Blue,

We’ve gone for more ammo and beer. Be back in an hour. Don’t mess with the pit bulls; they attacked the mailman this morning and messed him up real bad. I don’t think Killer took part, but it was hard to tell from all the blood.

Anyway, I locked all four of ‘em in the house.

Better wait outside. Be right back.

Cheers,
Wacka

..

Have a good day… Have Fun!

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: https://www.ncwoodworker.net/forums/index.php


7 replies so far

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woodbutcherbynight

5967 posts in 2856 days


#1 posted 07-23-2018 07:00 PM

What if they cannot read?

ROFL

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View  woodshaver Tony C   's profile

woodshaver Tony C

6724 posts in 3800 days


#2 posted 07-23-2018 08:20 PM

Reading optional….. just need to see Big Ass boots, Large dog dish and Gun magazine.

Better yet put a sign up that says Do Not Enter… Flea Infestation gone to fetch exterminator!

-- St Augustine FL, Experience is the sum of our mistakes!

View Joe Lyddon's profile

Joe Lyddon

10668 posts in 4499 days


#3 posted 07-23-2018 08:26 PM

Tony… LOL… LOL… LOL…

-- Have Fun! Joe Lyddon - Alta Loma, CA USA - Home: http://www.WoodworkStuff.net ... My Small Gallery: https://www.ncwoodworker.net/forums/index.php

View doubleDD's profile

doubleDD

8523 posts in 2490 days


#4 posted 07-23-2018 11:21 PM

LMAO good one.

-- Dave, Downers Grove, Il. -------- When you run out of ideas, start building your dreams.

View  woodshaver Tony C   's profile

woodshaver Tony C

6724 posts in 3800 days


#5 posted 07-23-2018 11:27 PM

Which one Dave? Just kidding! I know you would say both! LOL!

-- St Augustine FL, Experience is the sum of our mistakes!

View JCamp's profile

JCamp

996 posts in 998 days


#6 posted 07-23-2018 11:54 PM

Seen a sign not far from my house that says “no trespassing, trespassers will be shot. Survivors will be shot again”. Lol. Laugh every time I see it. Never needed to test if it was true or not tho.

-- Whatsoever thy hand findeth to do, do it with all thy might

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

5967 posts in 2856 days


#7 posted 07-24-2018 02:02 AM

Years ago a guy broke into the lady across the streets house. She was in bed, grabbed her shotgun and confronted said moron. He blew her off and said she couldn’t shoot. Loud boom at 0230 in the morning!! I went across the street to find the guy grabbing his crotch screaming in agony. He no longer has the ability to procreate.

LOL

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

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