Jokes in the woodshop

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Forum topic by Justin posted 10-26-2010 10:56 PM 5694 views 0 times favorited 23 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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119 posts in 3577 days

10-26-2010 10:56 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor question trick

Let me start off by saying that I do not encourage dangerous pranks in the shop. I am simply just wondering if you have ever pulled a “harmless” joke in the shop when someone new comes in or if you ever had one pulled on yourself? For example asking them to find the wood stretcher or to stain a door natural stain. I wasn’t ever asked to find something like the wood stretcher but I’ve heard of a few storys where someone in a shop will tell a new employee to ask the boss for the natural stain.

23 replies so far

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10880 posts in 3723 days

#1 posted 10-26-2010 11:26 PM

what about the smoke-turner
and a bucketfull of those punch-dots (the Danish name is kørnerprikker)
the woodstrecher I think is known worldwide
the wood strecher is posted somewhere on L J :-)

in the older days when they used this cloth that was pulled appart and was one big
bag of cotton waste / twist that they use to sort of cleaning there hands from oil and grease
in the garageshops if one have such a handfull hanging
out of the backpocket you cuold bee sure that after a while someone set fire to it
very funny to look at but allso little too dangerus I think


View Justin's profile


119 posts in 3577 days

#2 posted 10-26-2010 11:39 PM

ya the wood stretcher is well known by just about anyone that deals with wood. Wouldn’t mind finding that wood stretcher that someone posted on here, i could really use one right about now. :D I gotta say that it would be funny to see someone trying to put out the fire but its so dangerous with all the chemicals and flammable material in a cabinet shop i wouldn’t dare try that lol

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10880 posts in 3723 days

#3 posted 10-26-2010 11:45 PM

its the same in a garage shop
and its realy the one who being joked that has to take out the fire
but every one was warrent not to have twist like that in the first place
becourse its look awefull and is too dangerus beside if its full of grease and
you have forget it is there and take a costummers car out …OH BOY you
are in trubble


View Moron's profile


5046 posts in 4501 days

#4 posted 10-26-2010 11:47 PM

find a sky hook

board stretcher

pull the pin on the dust bag so when they turn it on it goes “Boom Dust”

loosen the lid on the glue bottle

nail their clipboard to the bench

punch tiny holes under the rim of their starbucks paper coffee cup

screw the bathroom door shut

wait till they climb in the job site “Johnny on the spot” then drive the folklift so that ot blocks the door.

screw their work boots to the floor

a bucket of fine saw dust in the back seat of their car on a hot summer day

boys will be boys

-- "Good artists borrow, great artists steal”…..Picasso

View Gregn's profile


1642 posts in 3591 days

#5 posted 10-26-2010 11:55 PM

Jokes in the shop of that nature are common. I can’t begin to tell you how many people I’ve sent off on a wild goose chase looking for a copper magnet. Another thing I enjoyed doing to people when I worked in the warehouse was to send them looking for shelf wedging. When I worked in the metal plant guys would love to watch me jump by dropping their 3 LBS. hammers on the metal sheets I would be preparing the edges on. My most favorite one was when I had this smart mouth teenager looking for the tube of air dope for the air drill. we laughed for weeks at that one. As long as the victim isn’t put in harms way its open season. By the way don’t step in that! Ah, made you look. LOL

-- I don't make mistakes, I have great learning lessons, Greg

View Kent Shepherd's profile

Kent Shepherd

2718 posts in 3894 days

#6 posted 10-26-2010 11:58 PM

When I was a teenager working for my dad, we had an older guy in a shop next door to us. I had always gotten along with him——-until the day my buddy and I decided to set off firecrackers outside his shop door. We did wait until there were no machines running before we did it.

He did not see the humor in it!!!!!!!!! After chewing on us for a while (a long, long while), he proceeded to jump on my dad. How dare he raise such a heathen, undisciplined,#%@#!, piece of &$*#, son.
After he left, through his laughter, my dad commanded us to never do that again. He didn’t particularly like the guy anyway. My dad was normally pretty cool.

We have since repented and have become “respectable” human beings.


View Dennisgrosen's profile


10880 posts in 3723 days

#7 posted 10-27-2010 12:02 AM

in electronics and amplifires speciel is there some big capacitors thats act like battery´s
you can drag high volts from them in miliseconds if you got a new one were the + and –
come out of each end then is the metaltread just long enoff to go the hole way
down the side , then you do it on both side so they are opposit of each other
and load it, after it is full load you throw it to a person and yell catch (name)
very funny faces from them when they are electriccuted and one they will remember

but they still catch it two weeks after….LOL


View ClayandNancy's profile


525 posts in 3623 days

#8 posted 10-27-2010 12:02 AM

Send the new kid to the hardware for a can of welding sparks. Use to send the new guy back to our body shop and ask the body man (same body man all the time) where the basement steps were had to get some air freshener for the new tires, there was no basement.

View hairy's profile


3004 posts in 4140 days

#9 posted 10-27-2010 12:37 AM

My favorite is gluing a penny to the floor.

-- Genghis Khan and his brother Don, couldn't keep on keeping on...

View degoose's profile


7265 posts in 3962 days

#10 posted 10-27-2010 12:41 AM

When I was in the navy… we would send the new guy down to the galley for a saucer of milk for the sea cat…sea cat is a missile…
send him down to the electricians workshop for a box of short circuits…
send him down to the shipwrights shop for a long weight… or wait… after 10 minutes the chippie would ask if that was a long enough wait… lol

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

View poopiekat's profile


4559 posts in 4342 days

#11 posted 10-27-2010 12:41 AM

I recall sending a newbie plumber apprentice back to the shop to get a spool of pipe thread. I’ve also heard of buckets of steam. These days, I see no humor in that crap, and indeed new general guidelines for inappropriate workplace behavior, i.e. harassment, include “Vexatious Behavior”. I’m glad to see this added to the list. Nobody should have to endure the hazing rituals people of my generation went through.

-- Einstein: "The intuitive mind is a sacred gift, and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift." I'm Poopiekat!!

View degoose's profile


7265 posts in 3962 days

#12 posted 10-27-2010 12:44 AM

Yes hazing is not a good practice… it made us what we are today…

-- Don't drink and use power tools @

View a1Jim's profile


117909 posts in 4185 days

#13 posted 10-27-2010 12:45 AM

Send him looking for the shop dog that got out ,when there is none,


View john's profile


2381 posts in 4989 days

#14 posted 10-27-2010 12:54 AM

When i used to frame houses we used to always play pranks on the new guys . We used to send them to another framing crews site and ask them if they had a extra box of toe nails , sky hook , left handed monkey wrench or whatever .
We also used squirt a line of chalk in their hard hat so they would have a strip of blue or red chalk in their hair for a week or too :-))
Anytime i saw a big gob of sap on a piece of wood i would take a nail and scoop it up and throw it in someones pouch .

-- John in Belgrave (Website) ,

View KnotWright's profile


258 posts in 4095 days

#15 posted 10-27-2010 12:54 AM

another all time favorite…. Would you please go to the truck, and bring me the “mattababy” its blue with a 220 power cord.

They come back after looking for it …”What’s a ‘mattababy’?”

and the answer is always “Nothing what’s a matter with you BABY?

-- James

showing 1 through 15 of 23 replies

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