You know you're a woodworker when....

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Forum topic by Greg Wurst posted 01-26-2010 08:34 PM 1265 views 0 times favorited 2 replies Add to Favorites Watch
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Greg Wurst

796 posts in 4368 days

01-26-2010 08:34 PM

Topic tags/keywords: humor

Graciously stolen from other sites (along with a couple of my own).......

You cut yourself with a chisel and you’re more concerned about not getting blood on your workpiece than you are about the laceration.

You inexplicably find sawdust in your drawers. And I’m not talking about furniture.

You can say “crotchwood” with a straight face.

It has caused you great pain to pay money for furniture that was poorly made.

You have dropped to your knees and looked beneath a table in a museum, a gallery, an historic home, or a friend’s house.

You know the difference between a tendon and a tenon but you sometimes use the words interchangeably.

You cannot resist the temptation to lift the lid on a wooden box.

You secretly think “measuring tape” suspenders are pretty cool.

You can talk to your partner/spouse/significant other for HOURS about woodworking despite the glazed over look in his/her eyes.

You have wondered what it would be like to own a woodworking business.

You can spend an entire day in your shop, accomplish little if anything, and thoroughly enjoy it.

You know exactly where everything is in your shop….except for a pencil (or tape measure).

You have said these words: “I can build that in two weeks.”

You have built more projects in your head than in actuality.

Your spouse/partner/loved ones/pets know not to bother you, and sometimes choose to run for cover, when you are gluing up a project.

Even if you don’t work with it, you love the smell of fresh cut pine.

You know that Lie-Nielsen isn’t that actor from the Naked Gun movies.

You either love or hate the smell of fresh cut walnut. There is no in-between.

You remove more splinters from your hands in a month than most people do in a lifetime.

You can correctly pronounce Padauk and Lignum Vitae.

You always open a drawer first to see what the dovetails are like (and also to test the fit)

You fantasize about the furniture the oak tree in your front yard might make when the Weather Channel forecasts high winds.

You pass over the Victoria’s Secret catalog that just came in the mail for the Lee Valley catalog underneath it.

You’ve rearranged a holiday or vacation trip to see or buy something related to woodworking.

You have more lumber stacked in your garage than was used to build your entire home.

You’ve kept that plank of curly cherry for ten years and that plank of rosewood for twenty years ‘cause you know you’ll find the perfect project for it tomorrow.

While putting another log into the fireplace, you think to yourself: “Jeez, that’s got nice figure. I shouldn’t be burning this one.”

Your kitchen table; which looked so good to you a month ago; now has mismatched boards in the top, and pocket screws, and … you’re sure you can build a better one.

When you buy a house, you get more excited about the garage than the kitchen.

When you lick a piece of untreated wood to see what the finished surface might look like.

You see a large tree cut-down and weep at all the good boards that could have been cut from a tree now destined for the fireplace.

-- You're a unique and special person, just like everyone else.

2 replies so far

View Pdub's profile


926 posts in 3716 days

#1 posted 01-26-2010 09:28 PM

I had to chuckle at several of those because I have done them.

-- Paul, North Dakota, USAF Ret.

View Dusty56's profile


11852 posts in 4224 days

#2 posted 01-26-2010 11:33 PM


-- I'm absolutely positive that I couldn't be more uncertain!

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