N0. 133 You know you're a lumberjock when you call a workshop "Lovely" ... Don.

I feel a "You know you're a Lumberjock if/when …" book in the works

On Sale at your Local Lumberjock Shop

 

haha@ Scott-I was at a market today buying potatoes and they had bins of firewood (hardwood) for sale for $5 / big box.. and I said … "Rick-look, only $5~!!!" and he said, "Debbie, - it's FIREwood.".

 

and you replied, 'but, look at the grain!'

 

Sticks are sticks. One man's firewood is another man's Masterpiece. The difference between a masterpiece and firewood is who's hands it's in. One person sees a toothpick for picking between their teeth, I look at it as something to get glue into a very tight spot. I see it as something to stuff into a screw hole when it's become too large for the screw and needs to be filled. I have about 800 toothpicks in my shop just for the times when I need a little stick and cant find one.

Ever notice the grain in a toothpick? You will now.

 

I've noticed that all the scrap wood deemed only worthy for making pallets is perfectly quartersawn (if you look at it crosswise)...

No 134:

you know you're a lumberjock when you save every piece of wood over 1 board foot. (and every other piece too!

 

No. 135 You know you're a lumberjock when you give your brother-in-law fire wood and then go and take it back, if he doesnt burn it fast enough to suit you.

 

No. 136…you've got your wife convinced that putting her Diet Coke can on your cast iron tables is grounds for divorce.

Just kiddin' my wife knows better.

 

No.137 …At a party (this really happened), you hear someone ask your wife what her husbands cologne is and she replies " ode del woodshoppe"...and then she tells them she has spent thousands of dollars for you to wear that fragrance!.

 

Where do I buy that fragrance Schroeder? And does it come in various fragrances like "Walnut, Pine and Cherry"? That just might be an idea for the marketing group.

 

No. 138 … You know you're a lumberjack when your snot has the same texture and color as wood filler. (Please don't use your snot people… doesn't work as well)

 

why not? right color, and it gets hard

 

No. 139 … You know you're a lumberjack when your nightmares are decorated with IKEA furniture.

 

No. 140 - You know your a lumberjock when you see a new magazine on the shelf at the bookstore, but you don't pick it up because you know (hope) it'll be waiting for you when you get home and check the mailbox…. but then you can't remember if you subscribe to that one or not.

 

You know you're a lumberjock when your yearly magazine subscriptions total more than you make in a week

 

That was No. 141

 

No. 142 - You know you're a LumberJock when you stop believing all those tool reviews in woodworking magazines that derive their major source of income from ads paid for by the same companies whose tools they are reviewing.

 

tell me it is not so, Don… tell me it is not so!!

 

You mean the editorial content could be compromised by advertising dollar considerations? In other works, like Debbie said…tell me it's not so!

 

Ha! - 138 and 140 made me laugh out loud (now my wife is looking at me funny…) this is a good topic, scary how many fit me! (very good Scott & Thomas)

 

Of course so many of these fit you… You're a Lumberjock!

As for our wives, well….

 

I woke my wife up the first time I started reading these and when she asked what was so funny, I said "It's nothing, Honey, just a bunch of lumberjocks."

NOW I REMEBER … THIS WAS THE REASON I JOINED.

 

143: you know you are a lumberjock when you carry a piece of wood for your next project - in your finger!! OUCH

 

144:

you know you are a lumberjock when in church sunday morning - your prayer and confession is " thou shall not covet thy neighbors walnut tree….....

145: when the new 3/4 ton pick up you bought - and built side boards for to haul all your lumber in ..you carved out or did a custom router job to dispay your love for… or business of wood working ... "Got Wood? " with your telephone number next to it.

 

And drive said truck to Church… Where those who don't know you think the worst.

 

146:

when you overhead a co-worker mention they just took down (or will be taking down) a tree. and you immediately ask if you can have it. Thinking, worst case, at least you'll have some firewood.