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woodworking humor

11758 Views 53 Replies 22 Participants Last post by  BuzzCut
got this in an email today …

This is the story of a woodcarver who lived in a house in a forest with a rabbit and a housemaid. Among the duties of the housemaid was to dress the rabbit each morning, as he was unable to dress himself. One day, after they had had their breakfast and the rabbit was dressed, the rabbit and the woodcarver went out into the forest to find wood that would be suitable for carving.. They soon found what they agreed was a wonderful piece of wood! Just perfect for a wood sculpture.
Unfortunately, they couldn't agree on what to carve. The woodcarver wanted to carve a mother sheep feeding her lambs. The rabbit wanted to see the piece become a wooden Dutch shoe.
Finally, they agreed to let the housemaid decide, so they went back to the cottage and explained their problem. The housemaid decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean that the woodcarver would carve the sheep; tails would mean that the shoe would win. You can imagine the suspense when she flipped up the coin, caught it, and peeked.
Wood ewe or wooden shoe? Only the haredresser knew for sure.

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Uh huh . . . . . it must be late somewhere!!
Ba-bump!! Where's Henny Youngman when you need him?
"My Doctor gave me six months to live. Couldn't pay the bill, he gave me another six months!" "I Love this Crowd!!"
Or Phyllis Diller? "My Husband brought a book to bed on our wedding night. I wouldn't mind so much if he had read, but he colored!!"
Yes but did the russian guy shoot the rabbit with a bow and arrow or did the carver get electrocuted plugging in his dremel. You,re drinking way too much of that cat crap coffee dan.
A couple where on a country drive. A rabbit ran out in front of them and was rolled by the car. They stop to see if the rabbit was Ok. The rabbit was breathing but not moving, they did not know what to do.
They where stopped in front of a beauty salon and an hairdresser came to see if she could help. She saw the rabbit and said she would be right back. When she came back she had a bottle and spoon and proceeded to give the rabbit some fluid. All of the sudden the rabbit jumped up and ran into the bushes waiving. The couple was amazed and asked what did you give the rabbit. the hair dressed exclaimed Hair restoration with a permanent waive.
I'm with Odie. Where's the humor that's suppose to be here???
I guess I must have missed it all…................LOL
read it again … very slowly … and check the punch line spellin
Yea, I should have read it again myself, thats why I don't post much.
I'm with you grumpy …. would the rest of you please catch !
I didn't write ... just cut and paste !!
Bob's woodworking shop was a one-man operation til the housing boom of the 90's made it necessary to hire two people. So he hired Jack, a professional cabinetmaker, and Jill, an apprentice. Things went very well for Bob until this recent downturn of the economy. Bob's accountant made it clear that one of his crew would have to go. Jack was unreliable, taking days off and not very productive, but had the skills. Jill was learning, and ambitious, and had good managerial skills but not yet competent on all machines.
Bob's dilemma was this: Should he lay Jill or Jack off?
That was a beauty Dan it's the way you tell them that has me laughing for seconds.Alistair
Well, I get it and it's a bit funnier than you think.

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