[KentInOttawa]

Why this blog?

In May 2014 I was run down by an SUV driver making a left-turn. In addition to a broken shoulder and leg bone, I literally cracked my skull when my head slammed against the pavement. Ouch. The last part caused a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI). I was diagnosed with a contusion. My symptoms kept me from seeing and thinking clearly. I was so messed up that I didn't realise how messed up I was.

My initial treatments all addressed the bone and tissue damage, and so my TBI symptoms went unrecognised and untreated and my brain went about trying to heal itself and make sense of the world as best as it could. I was living in a fog for a few years after that. Eventually, some cognitive and vision deficits were noticed and I tripped across a vision therapist. Think of vision therapy as physiotherapy for the interface between the brain and the eyes. The biggest difference between physiotherapy and vision therapy is that when your muscles get tired doing physiotherapy, you can stop using your muscles and give everything a break. But when vision therapy gets tiring, your brain can't be stopped.

I spent the next 2 years being mentally exhausted. On the positive side, I started to improve Overall, it was much like peeling an onion; once one layer was removed, I could see the next layer that needed to be removed. Repeat as required… I discovered (and fixed) more and more symptoms with two years of vision therapy. I had a blind spot on my left side that was about a 45 degrees arc! I had lost my 3D vision. My memory was horrible; I couldn't even remember what I'd read several sentences ago.

The vision therapy worked well enough that I don't need it any more and I am continuing to improve on my own. I started to find ways to describe my symptoms to others and to find accommodations (workarounds) for the deficits that still existed. Most importantly, I became very self-aware so that I could identify symptoms and try to fix them. And that brings me to woodworking and this blog.

As I improve, I am able to do more and more complex tasks and I'm able to do them longer and better. Like any sort of learning, what you learn today gives you a better foundation for future learning. Woodworking really works the visual and cognitive areas of my brain that were broken in the accident, and it's something that I can do in small pieces. I use hand tools almost exclusively because of the feedback that they provide and because I can't guarantee my performance and reaction time when using power tools. If a cut is getting away from me with a hand saw, I can just freeze and there won't be any kickback or fingers removed.

Many tasks that are trivial for most people can be very difficult for me. This blog will be a reference about some of these situations and how I tackle them. It will also provide some insight into why some obvious solutions are either not obvious to me or sometimes not even possible right now.

My next installment will explain my "channels" and how they affect my shop time.

 

[Gene01]

Wow. You sure took a beating in more ways than one. Overcoming your visual difficulties sounds like quite a process. Looking forward to reading more about your progress.

 

[Redoak49]

What a journey you are on and making great progress. I am very impressed with what you have done and will be reading your blogs.

 

[BurlyBob]

Kent, sounds like your making a inspiring recovery. It's quite apparent that your determination and spirit will get you thru it.

My Best.

 

[KentInOttawa]

Learning about "channels"

When you work hard doing something new, you will get tired. When you get tired, you should rest. This sounds pretty obvious and straight-forward, but for me, it really wasn't. When your brain is broken, all bets are off.

Firstly, I needed to learn that even though I could remember doing many things the connections in my brain had been damaged in the accident. This meant that, ironically, I could no longer do many things that I could remember doing. Even 2 years after my accident, I hadn't yet learned that I had lost my 3d vision. Don't you know that it was quite a revelation when my vision problems were detected and my first pair of prism glasses "turned on" my 3D vision again.

Secondly, as I mentioned in the first part of this blog when vision therapy gets tiring, your brain can't be stopped. Everything I did seemed to exhaust me mentally. With corrective prisms in my glasses, my brain needed to relearn how to aim my eyes and how to interpret the images from them. It also needed to take this information and use it to update my internal map to literally let me know which way was up. This was exhausting, and I spent 12-16 hours most days either sleeping or resting in bed with my eyes closed. Some days were longer. As luck would have it, whenever I started to feel a little less tired, my vision therapist (a neuroscientist and an ophthalmologist) would write me a new prescription with different prisms and my brain would need to start learning the new arrangement all over again. In total, I had 4 or 5 new prescriptions in a 2-year period. Damn, but I'm glad that part is done.

Thirdly, a Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI) is not a normal state of affairs. As such, I would often perceive something but could not relate that perception to my past experience. In other words, I was experiencing things that I could not explain. One noteworthy example was when I could feel an "itch" at a specific location inside my skull. Sometimes this itch would feel like a tickle or some other sensation. The exact location would move from one occurrence to the next. It took me over a year to finally realise that this was my brain's way of telling me that it was tired of doing something and that it needed a rest. Now I just recognise when I'm tired. Duh!

In the midst of all this, I started to get back to doing some woodworking. My 3d vision was back, but my perception of space was broken. My concentration and my memory were shot, but I wasn't necessarily aware of it while it was happening so I didn't let it slow me down.

Since my last prescription change, my vision has improved enough that vision therapy isn't required any more. And since my brain has had the same prescription for about a year now, it has been able to learn and progress more. But the biggest and most important thing that I've learned is that I have "channels", or "things that I can do".

When I've worked a channel too hard, I need to give it a rest. Sometimes that is just for a couple of hours and sometimes it's for a few days I've also learned that when one channel becomes dead, there are other channels that can still be used. So I do what I can, when I can, for as long as I can, and I'm damned happy about it because I still can. I couldn't have said that even a few months ago.

In a few days, once this channel is working again, I'll post some examples of what I am capable of doing and some of what I am not.

 

[KentInOttawa]

Okay, so blame the brain injury. There is no way that I could get this entry to be a continuation of the previous entry.

Okay, so I finally got them linked. Now I'm toast for a few days.

 

[TEK73]

Thanks for sharing.
It's inspiring to see your currage, and reading about your way back is giving a lot of insight in how a brain damage might affect you.

 

[robscastle]

You know Kent yesterday, which was Sunday here for me, I opened the cupboard and pulled out all the banding inlay I had made over the years that I have been learning how to do woodwork.
I was amazed at the amount of inlay banding I had actually made.

However I was also concerned that I could not remember the process I had used to make the same.
I don't think I have ever suffered any brain injury, well at least not as serious as you that's for sure.

I read your first post and thought you should test your mallet on the skull of the person who ran over you.
Mainly to see if they appreciated the extent of injuries you have suffered.

Keep up the great progress! even those who have not been subjected to injury have difficulties marshaling processes at times so don't be too hard on yourself .

 

[KentInOttawa]

Rob, I'm not being hard on myself. A sick, twisted little part of me is enjoying the process of recovery because of all the analysis and introspection. What I don't like is living with my state of affairs. Fortunately, I am improving. I do laugh at myself sometimes because the other option is to curl up in a ball and feel sorry for myself. I prefer to spend my energy moving forward.

The last few days I've been spending my energies on moving and shortening this pile of (mostly) hardwood.

I'm using a handsaw to turn all the 8 and 12-foot lengths into 4 and 6-foot lengths

I then transport it to a location where the inspector verifies my work.

Finally, I get to restack everything.

Because most of the work is done standing in one place, I can get a relatively large amount done in one go. I started early this morning so that I could get more done before the light trashed me. When the light gets like this (glare and/or high contrast) I need to quit. The effect on me is so severe that I can barely speak or walk.

On the plus side, I should be able to finish that pile tomorrow if the weather holds. If the weather doesn't hold, I'll try to get some shop time in.

 

[BurlyBob]

Kent, Yours is a very inspiring story. I appreciate your willingness to tell us your struggles thru your recovery. I find it very meaningful and humbling.

Thank you for sharing with us!

 

[KentInOttawa]

Progress was made, although the execution was not strictly in accordance with the plan. I had to work around the availability of my energy and getting the right balance of light, temperature and shade. It all came together around supper time, so I took a little over an hour to finish the last 10 boards.

I'm paying for all this effort today. In the next week or so I'll do the same thing with the softwood.

I'll also show some of the SLOOOWWWWW progress with hand tools in the shop.

 

[KentInOttawa]

Life in the "Fun House"

Imagine putting on someone else's glasses and wearing them for a few days. If those glasses were different enough from what you normally experience, they would distort your perception and start to make you feel like you were in a "Fun House" at a science centre or fall fair. It's amusing as an experience, but as a way of life, it gets old quick. Trust me on that, because that's been my reality for a few years now.

I've had several new prescriptions over the last few years to help correct the accident damage. While they have corrected where my eyes point, I haven't had any one prescription long enough for my brain to adjust to the spatial distortion of each prescription. As a result, many normal actions have become uncomfortable so I've had to develop ways to accommodate the problem. Unfortunately, one of these methods has been to avoid moving my head and eyes in more than one axis at a time. "Oh look, it's Mr Robotto"! Something as simple as stooping and bending to check for wind is usually enough to burn out that channel and stop me from continuing in the shop (or anywhere else) for a few days.

I have a lot of rough lumber that I collected before my accident that I want to mill square. I need to use hand tools because it wouldn't be safe for me to use power tools in my condition and because I don't have a place where I can set them up and leave them set up. Even if I did try to use my table saw (as an example), I would be too mentally fatigued to put the saw away after I had pulled the saw out of the tent and run the power, not to mention even gathering some wood and setting up a cut. Since I don't want to leave a table saw and power outside for days or weeks, I use hand tools in my basement shop, where I can just walk away and leave something for a few days (or sometimes weeks) until I'm ready to proceed.

I generally start by placing a 2 to 3-foot long piece in my end vice. I'll mark a straight reference on one side. Sometimes I use a marking gauge and sometimes I use a Sharpie.

I'll carry the marks around all 4 sides and them I'll plane a chamfer to the lines, like this.

Then all I have to do is plane off the high spots between the chamfers. This easy to do because it doesn't require me to use my vision as much as if I was just planing to the lines. Once the surface is planed close to the lines, I bring out the winding sticks and start switching between my number 4, 5 & 6 plane until I have one surface flat and true. Sometimes this step is easy. At other times it can take days.

When things go this well it feels like magic.

When they don't, I just walk away for a few days until I feel better. Sometimes I'll get distracted by something else (squirrel!) to help me move forward.

I have a LOT of small and trivial projects partially completed and waiting for me. I'm getting to them, and that's a good thing.

 

[TEK73]

Keep going and do the best out of it.
Seems like a very nice bench by the way - good to know it sees some useage!

 

[TwinLake]

Keep it going, looks like a good piece of bench !

 

[KentInOttawa]

Like most woodworkers, I would love to build "my dream bench". Unfortunately, the lack of a good work-holding device was working against all my other deficiencies. Fortunately, a local woodworker was moving to Europe on short notice, so his bench went up for sale and I snatched it up at a reasonable price. It's been a joy to use and a huge help in so many ways.

My brain continues to improve, but what I am capable of and how long I'm capable of doing it is still pretty much unpredictable. It took me a month to get to hand sawing the stack of softwood lumber in the tent after I had sawn the hardwood in August. The good news is that I was able to do it in a couple of hours and in one shot. Yay!

I've been puttering away on de-rusting some old tools and milling some softwood for some shelving for the shop. The milling process is very challenging cognitively. Progress on it is so slow that some days it feels like an anchor weighing me down. My military training (do or die) keeps me working at it. I'm not going to let a stupid piece of wood beat me!

I'll have some photos of some progress and shop ideas posted soon. Soon, my time, that is.

 

[a1Jim]

Wow, you are just pushing through in spite of your injury, so sorry you have that injury
to deal with but you are doing a great job of adapting to make things work where so many others would have just thrown in the towel. More power to you I hope your healing is complete and that you're back to your on injured self soon.

 

[KentInOttawa]

Better is, by definition, better.

It has been over a year and a half since the last entry in this blog and a lot has changed, almost all of it for the better.

The biggest and most obvious thing is the pandemic. Well, for the purposes of this blog, that has had a negligible impact on my progress. The biggest change and most helpful aid since the last entry is that I've had a new workshop built. It's 20' x 24' with 12' high ceilings.

There are some power tools in there, but it's set up so that I can surf between bouts of handtool woodworking. The beneficial effects of the reduced transits to the work area and the ability to carry on and do something else while I set down a task that is flogging my brain are both HUGE plusses for me.

As you can see, there are a LOT of tasks that are all partially complete and several more in the queue awaiting my energies and focus.

So I do some work and then give that channel a rest. Sometimes I'll get up from the PC and just wander around the shop to put things away or just move them around to help get me to focus on whatever comes next. Given enough time, I eventually get things done, albeit slowly. For example, while ripping these boards to glue up…

I cleaned and loaded up this 1860s tool chest and built the crude but effective plane till to its left…

I've also rejuvenated some saws

built some garden boxes and topped them off with some tasty mulch (according to the Chief Inspector)

and I've filed (yes - filed!) the bevel back on a badly chipped and damaged 2" socket chisel.

Moving between tasks has allowed me to feel better about my progress because over any given month or two, I can see some progress in my health, my shop and my skills even when the day-to-day grind feels like I'm trudging through thick mud.

 

[northwoodsman]

Hey Kent, I just wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed going through all 4 parts of your blog. They really lifted me up and helped me understand the challenges. I'm facing the same challenges but I couldn't put them into perspective for my family and friends to understand. I was a jack of all trades, I used to build things, I was a woodworker, a welder, I could tackle almost any construction project, electrical project, or plumbing project. On March 1, 2020 I tore the vertebral artery (one of two) out of my brain and a week later I had a stroke. For the first few days I couldn't sit up, then I learned I couldn't walk. I had double vision for 6 weeks. Every day for 5 weeks I was getting tested by neurologists, therapists, psychologists, etc. and I was off the charts. The team that was analyzing me would meet at the end of each day to try to come up with something for me to do the next day because tasks that should take me an hour to complete out I was doing in 5 - 10 minutes. I couldn't go home however because I needed physical therapy to be able to walk again and once I left I couldn't return because of Covid restrictions. It gradually came together and I was able to leave rehab by late April. I eventually began to drive and I went back to work full time (office type job). It's now been 17 months since I left rehab. I'm still trying to figure out what is prescription drug induced issues and actual physical or mental issues. Prior to this incident I had great health. But like you stated, I go out to the shop and by the time I get my materials and tools out I'm so tired and worn out that I need to back in the house and rest (that's what I'm doing at the moment). I can maybe get 30 minutes of shop time in then I put everything back up and have to go take a nap. I'm only in my mid 50's. I have a terrible time judging distances in close proximity. I trip over things, knock things over, and run into doorways when I try to turn into a room when I'm still a few inches shy of the doorway. I'm constantly stepping on my dogs or tripping over them. I'm always dropping things because if someone says something or if I think of something else, my concentration is gone and my hand just lets go of whatever is in it. It's so frustrating!!!!! I'm glad that I'm not in it alone. I wish that your accident wouldn't have happened but let's continue making lemonade out of these stinkin' lemons.

 

[KentInOttawa]

NorthWoodsMan - thanks for reading all four entries ;-)

After 7 years so far of this, I'm still noticing new symptoms and issues. Just this morning I suffered a bout of vertigo as I stepped away from the coffee machine. It turns out that when my wife reached for something across the countertop behind me, she blocked a part of the counter's reflection in the window behind the coffee machine. That, in turn, was caught in my peripheral vision and I confused that input with my movement and poof! vertigo. I'm not happy about the vertigo but I am happy that I can track and trace more and more of the things that trigger it.

In the beginning of my journey, I think I was like "that guy" who said that his car was "not running right" and was asking the mechanic to fix it. Right?! Sure, mechanics joke about this sort of thing, but now I can relate to the frustration of being "that guy". With vision therapy AND a naturally process-oriented mind, I was naturally inclined to learn about how the brain worked. By doing my best to be aware of my surroundings and my symptoms (which isn't easy given the injuries) I was able to capture more and more causes. I can now describe my symptoms much better.

One of my best defences against vertigo is by using tripods; not the commercial OTS camera devices but literal three-legged supports. Almost every time that I'm standing somewhere (using 2 legs), I add a third point of reference (leg) using another part of my body. This can be by leaning my hip or my shoulder against something, by using handrails when they're available or by having a cane for when I want to just want to stop and reorient myself. When I say: "by using handrails", I don't mean hanging on for dear life but rather just placing a couple of fingers on it and tracing it with them as I move along. All I need is the reference. I'll do the same thing with counter edges and even just walls. I joke that I sometimes resemble an ape swinging through the jungle as I move one hand forward for a new reference while I allow the arm behind me to lose its reference.

Every brain injury is very different so every path to recovery will be unique; we must all find our own accommodations and learn and adapt to our own limitations. My path to recovery really only started once I started learning what was wrong. I'm thankful for the improvements that I've made and especially thankful for being able to see the humour in it sometimes. Trying to stay positive is one of the best steps that we can take along the way.