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Div's post on Scoring Brownie points reminded me of a recent email which precisely calculated just how these points are awarded (or more often deducted).

The Female Demerit System
In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (+2)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this is because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

Hope this helps. In the immortal words of Red Green "Remember, we're all in this together. I'm pulling for you."

Lew
 

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Here is another one that is strange but true:

Listen to her complain about one of her relatives for 20 minutes straight, while nodding silently (+50)

You say something bad about the same relative (-200)

Go figure. :)
 

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That was quick Lew! I'll have to print this and put it up in my shop. At least I'll have system to work too!!

Ha, ha! The big question is just the best! This was written by an expert!
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Cher-

Yes, Dear- he says with a smile while handing over a bouquet of flowers.

Learned this from 35 years of wedded bliss- Mimi made me say that part ;^)
 

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I am no optimist Lew, I am just not very smart. They didn't teach us much about women in Infantry school.LOL The LOML doesn't understand the chain of command, somehow she thinks she's the General.LOL I guess in this house she is.
 

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Lew she was wise from the start, and if you're saying
35 years of wedded bliss then you are a happy man.
Most men think if they please their wives, they are hen pecked.
I think it shows they love them and that is what it is supposed to be.
 

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Discussion Starter · #17 ·
The truth be told, I wouldn't trade Mimi for the world!

She is the best thing that ever happened to me. I couldn't imagine living a day without her and pray I never have to.

Lew
 
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