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In this community members are expected to treat each other with respect at all times.

There will always be disagreements and fusses between members. It is simply human nature. We truly encourage members to discuss and openly share their thoughts on a topic. It is how we all learn and life would be pretty boring if we all felt the same way.

That being said, this is not grade school. We don't gang up in little groups to take sides or encourage others to do the same.

If you were at a local get together and got into a disagreement with someone, I am guessing you would take it outside instead of ruining the party for everyone. I expect the same here.

If you are not able to discuss a topic respectfully then you need to remove yourself from the topic. If you are unable to discuss a topic with a specific member then you need to choose to ignore that member or take the discussion off the boards. If you are unable to do either of these things, I will help you to do so.

I wrote this for another forum a while back. Today I want to share it with LumberJocks.

The Other Side Of The Monitor

Do you ever stop to think who is on the other side of the monitor? Do you always remember that it is a breathing human being? When you post in a community, do you consider how your words might be taken by others? Do you care? Even when someone post a question that we consider completely stupid or rude, does our own response add to the problem? Or, do we go out of our way to help turn a negative into a positive?

Does being right but humiliating others make us more right? Do we imagine that people are watching and thinking how smart we are?

Do we stop for even one second to think how we made that person on the other side of the monitor feel?

I have heard people say that if someone post something stupid or rude, they deserve whatever they get as a response. Seriously? Have we considered that we have no clue what is going on in their lives? Perhaps they are completely alone in life and they're just looking for some attention. Maybe our response can show them a better way through our own example.

Have we considered that they may be extremely depressed and are acting out? Could our response make a difference, not just for the individual, but for the community as a whole? We don't know what is going on in their lives, but as in any community, we know that right now, in this moment, we are all dealing with our own issues.

Right now, someone is trying to deal with a loss of a loved one. Someone else may be dealing with extensive financial difficulties or has been burned so many times that they choose to hurt others before someone can hurt them. They may even be considering taking their own life. We simply don't know.

One thing we know for sure though, on the other side of that monitor is a human being.

Am I asking that we be "nice" to those who we honestly feel don't deserve it?

I am simply suggesting that maybe we consider if our own response helps or hurts the community as a whole. Perhaps we can make a difference in someone's life today, just by giving a dang.

Just my 2 cents . . .
 

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Crickett, don't make it your 2 cents worth. Make it happen. Give people one warning then on second offense suspend them for a period of time, and then expel them for the third. Be firm and consistent. There are LJs who have been turned around for the better by that approach. The best way for LJs to deal with it is to ignore the individuals. I know people will say "why expel them they can come back under a new name?" Well in my experience they have been found out pretty quick. And if they come back and behave, then all is good.

You have become aware that there are people who consistently "stir" things up. You know it and 99% of LJs know it and I'm sure they would appreciate you dealing with it.
 

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Very well said Cricket. Things don't always come across in print as intended, so it's great to keep in mind that there are real people involved….whether you're right or wrong, agree or disagree, it's always best to treat others as we'd like to be treated.
 

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All great points Cricket, sadly there are a lot of peeps that actually get off on others dismay so they feed off of it, there are some that are born smart asses they think they are being cute by it , there are others that don't know proper etiquette on forums how to use a smiley face or an LOL to let known they are being just or being silly, there are those from different parts of the world thus they have different cultures, some more arrogant then others.

To bad we don't have the control here as we do on facebook, to be able to remove a comment if we deem it negative.
 

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Thanks for your comments Cricket. It is always easier to play by the rules and for you to enforce the rules when the rules have been spelled out. Thanks for that. Good luck with this task.
 

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Monumental task. This has been preached repeatedly. Regardless of the topic, if it starts going bad i will not comment any further. I am here for woodworking. I am not getting all worked up about non woodworking issues. I support your thoughts on this, I hope you can hold to it.
 

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Despite all the petty discord, this is the best woodworking site around. Glad to be a part of it.

Thanks for the forum and good luck
 

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Discussion Starter · #14 ·
Life is way too short to get hung up on the little stuff. :)
 

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Cricket…thanks.

There are some threads that have people who openly admit that they have been just stirring the pot. A little of it is bound to happen but when it is taking over a post, it is too much. I enjoy a good discussion on the merits of a subject but when it gets personal it ruins the thread.
 

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I respect the heart of what you are saying, and yes be nice or take it outside is the rules, and a good one, but let's also remember a lot of folks work with wood, not only for the joy it provides, but also because it's not people. Compared to the real world of carpenters I deal with on a daily basis… this place is very polite… so I think the "community" is trying.
 

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To elaborate: I like that this site isn't too "sterile" On other sites so heavily policed, you can inject even just a little color, and it seems to take away authenticity. Especially for wood working.

I agree with op+1 Cl810. It is the job of a Moderator to Moderate. So if you don't like what is going on.. do it.
 

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Never totally understood that whole take it outside thing, when that happens in real life, that's usually where peoples interests tend to shift.
 

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I am not even sure I know who Cricket is???

I do like what she has written though. Very encouraging and kind :)

I will echo what is stated about 'life being too short'. I cherish my life with my girls, my wife and two daughters. I never grew up with my father, never knew him much other than to know about some of his street habits. After a rough life he ended up dieing at a young age of 57 and now that I am 41 I want to appreciate every waking moment with my girls. Life is too short to be mad or fussing…
 
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