this is not easy for me , so let's let this healing begin .
the last time i saw my father , i was about 10 , in reno nevada,
grandmother maizzei had taken myself and my sister and little brother for an ice cream in the evening ,
as we were driving home , i saw my father hitchhiking , i shouted "that's ,dad" ! maissei said he was going to lake tahoe to look for work ,but said we didn't need him anymore , he was no good .
later , i ran away from home one night , to go find him ,my friend lived at the edge of town , and i stopped there
and got a sandwich , after dark , his mom was going to come home , he said i better hide , but not in the house
or she would call the police , if she found out what i was doing ,we went out side , it was cold , the only place we could find to hide was in his somewhat new garbage can , i got in , and he closed the lid , i must have sat in there for an hour , getting colder by the minute . i finally got so cold , i needed to get warm somehow , so i got out , the lights were of in the house there , so i went back to the hyway , there was no traffic at all , and i realized that my plan wasn't working , so i turned and went home . when i got there , about 2am , my mother heard me come in , and asked if it was me from her bedroom , i answered yes , she said to call the police , and tell them i was home ,
that she would deal with me in the morning and to go to bed . i got the beating of my life that morning .
i found out at 12 that my father had died in las vegas after he couldn't find work in tahoe . pneumonia alone in a cheap motel.
at twelve we got the news , the stepfather wanted to adopt us he said , and change our name to his , we said no
i was shortly homeless
when i was about 14 , i was hitchhiking in south carolina , a dark night on some long road somewhere ,
the road was up from he swamp and land , no cars , just my walking , feeling my way by the sound and feel of the asphalt and the gravel at the edge . i heard sounds rustleing in the dark , close by , and imagined alligators or some predator out there , and i stated praying "my father , who art in heaven ….......... he must have heard me , i made it to some small town, and went to the police station , and they let me sleep in a cell ,let me go in the morning , as i wasn't vagrant , i had $5 , and told them i lived in florida and was on my way home .
when i was 18 i drove thru las vegas to visit his paupers grave , but the officials had no records , and so i never found his grave .
about 15 years ago , we had a family reunion , my sister , and brother , and half brother ,
i had gotten a hold of his other half brother , they had never met .
after a couple of days , one evening the other half brother said that his mother , on her death bed , said that she thought that my stepfather and mother had conspired to have my father killed , for his veterans pay and us kids money . which they continued to get until us kids were 18 . i never saw a dime , being homeless and all .
thats my father tale , i wish i had had the chance to know him more , and the lords prayer has a special place in my heart , i can talk with him in prayer ,
my daughter is a recovering heroin addict , and doesn't track too good ,lost in a world of yesterday .
my two sons don't talk to me , what ever their mothers told them about me i don't know ,
i don't bother them , i just pray that maybe someday…........................
i am a grandfather for a year now , nothing there either …..................
i have never had the pleasure of fathers day , as i have 3 children , from 3 different mothers ,
to all you fathers , please have a good relationship with your children ,
otherwise it all just keeps revolving in them on to their children too .
THANK YOU CHER , for your kind wishes .
happy fathers day all !