LumberJocks Woodworking Forum banner

Project Information

2013 - Halloween morning,
.
The fog was spooky and dead quiet.

.
.

.
.

Welcome to my Halloween Nightmare!

.

Ghosts and Ghouls and spooky things
spiders and snakes and things with wings

Come this way and I'll give you a show
Will you come out? ... one way to know!

Go through Hells Gate and follow the path
If you're lucky … you'll escape his wrath!

The Corn Stalker Awaits! ... he wants your soul!

If you say YES WE CAN …. you'll turn into a TROLL!

make it through …. and you'll see what is true

The Harvester's no King … He's just a Big Punkin Head!

...... and he didn't fool you.
.
.

BWAAA …. HAHAHA ….. HAAAAAA! ..................... boo!

.
.



.

The planning for this year's Halloween started the minute I finished putting away last year's props.

.

I'm sick, I know, I know.

.
.


.
.

A Haunted Corn Maze! .... Perfect.

I have a big front yard and lots of props to use ….. sounds easy!

Except, it rained for 5 days, including Thursday, Halloween night.

The kids came anyway… all 60 to 70 of them. But usually, we have over 100.

We didn't have the automated props out because of the rain but we let them walk through and put out a sign:

Come back to the Haunted Halloween Corn Maze - Open Saturday Night 6 to 8:00 pm

The weather was supposed to be partly sunny by Saturday but it rained again on Friday, soaking everything we put up and the sun never appeared.

We were damp, cold and beat to death by now but we were determined to pull this off - we were in too deep at this point.

As it turned out, the weather did get better. The rain had stopped and the wind calmed down.

It was around 48 degrees, everything was ready and all the kids came back ….. like having two Halloweens!

This is the view from the street corner.








.

.... if Frankenstein had a son:



.
.

The talking Grave Digger with automated hand pointing the way was awesome!
.
.

"Do you not know where you walk?

These grounds are strewn with the souls of the dead!"

.
.



.
.

Want to take a walk through it?

Well, come on. (keep in mind, this is for 5 to 14 yr. old kids so, nothing too gross.)

Cross over the bridge, .... don't mind the snakes and crocodiles
.
.






.
.

Welcome to Hell's Gate!
.



It's made of salvaged RS cedar 6×6 posts and left over cedar fencing.

And, be greeted by the animated Corn Harvester!



.
"Which way will you choose?"
.


.

go left …...




.

very dark in here. Dead end ….Turn back!


.

Go right …...




.

check out the Haunted black light room


.

make sure your flashlight is on


.

Come on in!

.
.




.

....unfortunately, these pictures don't do this justice at night.






.

... watch out for the 3 jumping spiders!


.

and out to the grave yard with a skeleton rising out of the casket,

hanging bats, noisy crows, spooky sounds and rock music, lightning and thunder,




,

motion censored tree shakers work great on corn stalks.


.

.... and lots of fog




.

Your doing fine … keep moving! More to see!


.

very dark in here …... follow the red lights to the right,


.

back to the left,

this fog filled Z shaped maze was a blast! Kids laughing and giggling!
.


.

.... lots of fog and spooky things standing in corners.




.

Finally, you made it …. Right in to the Spiders den!












.

There is a laser show shining down which looks like spiders or roaches
running all over the ground. Great effect, unfortunately, you can't see it.

Moving along, ....

uh oh, what's this?



.

"OK! OK! ....... YOU CAN KEEP YOUR CANDY!

GRRRRRRRRRR, GRRRRRRROWL!!"

.




.

This jerking, animated jerk got a ton of laughs in our neighborhood. .... Ha!


.

Ok Kids, .... step this way, right …. there,


.

POW! ... JUMPING SPIDER! .... GOTCHA! ... Ha!
.

the cheapest prop gets the best bang! ... love it!











.

You have reached the center ….

..... it's …... the CORN STALKER!!!!!


.

"Welcome to the Harvest! .... The Harvesting of YOUR SOULS! ... HAHAHAAAA!!!"

.

.

This 7 ft. 6" guy rotates back and forth and his jaw moves when he talks.

.... Great effect!










.

Here's Alan, my neighbor with his brood of little gremlins.

They weren't scared at all!





.... and now, you've reached the end.




.
.

Glad you stopped by …... See you next year!

.


.
.
.

brought to you by:

a very generous local corn Farmer, the City of Highwood for the donation of 50 pumpkins after their big pumpkin fest, a neighbor for his dead tree, Randy, my landscaping side kick, my wife, Lynn who helped carve all the pumpkins and put up with this for a month, my friends who helped with ideas and all the Halloween guys in the attic.



.
.
.
.

Added side note:

"Why do you like Halloween so much?"

Yea, I know. Halloween isn't for everyone, especially these days with all the blood and guts and Zombies and monster babies eating their foot ….. What is that all about anyway? I don't get it.

I like the classics. Frankenstein and Dracula, Ghosts and skeletons, spooky sounds, candlelight and shadows.

That's what I remember about Halloween back when I was 7 years old.

I was Casper the ghost that year. It had a plastic mask with a rubber band that always grabbed my hair, but I didn't care. The year before, I wore a cowboy outfit with a Howdy Doody mask and a vest. I also had a Sherriff's badge and a double holster for my pearl handled pistol grip pop cap guns. I can remember making paper chap fringes with my mom and stapling them to my jeans.

The Austin Texas neighborhood that night was flooded with kids in costumes, lit pumpkins on every doorstep drawing you in, so many things to see, so much candy to gather and I get to pretend I'm someone else.

That was the last Halloween I was allowed to participate in. My mom took the Watchtower magazine from a fat smiling Jehovah's Witness lady and they came back and stole her frickin mind.

Now, she's a Stepford wife zombie with that same damnation smile and a heartfelt glee at the notion of my death at Armageddon 1914, 1925, 1932, 1975, Any day now! .... love you too, mom.

The JWs destroyed my family. They use shunning as a weapon. It is a hate crime of massive destruction.

DON'T TAKE THEIR MAGAZINES ….THEY'LL COME BACK AND STEAL YOUR MIND TOO.

.
.

To me, Halloween was a way to escape and be something different. I was free to use my imagination.

But that all ended. Not only was Halloween bad but Everything was bad:

Christmas, birthdays, Easter, sports, education, forget about school friends or college, books and TV and anyone that wasn't a Jehovah's witness.

Worst part was my dad was opposed to the religion and left mom and 4 kids for several years.

Even worse he came back and remained violently opposed while my mother forced us to go door to door selling those damn magazines, spreading lies and hate for a quarter.. Talk about dysfunction.

He was beat up by his old man and driven out at 17 so I guess he thought that's how it was done. I left at 17.

40 years later, nothing has changed. Except the ol' man finally gave in to the Borg and now he's dying. See ya.

I have very few good memories of my family and childhood. Halloween was one of them.

I was only seven but I remember. I was a cowboy once, I was a friendly ghost, I was anything I wanted to be.

That's why I like Halloween ….. Let's just say, I'm making up for lost time.

.

Ok, cut the bull.

Fact is, I just like scaring the ******************** out of your kids! ...... BWAHAHAHAHAHA! ... it's so fun!

and, hopefully just like me, they will remember how fun it was too.

Gallery

Comments

· Registered
Joined
·
0 Posts
Mark, excellent effort! You surpassed your own high standards. Thanks for extending halloween for all of us and making it fun. We look forward to it every year! Your neighbor Alan and family.
 

· Registered
Joined
·
4 Posts
Love the king in the Gitmo box and the Jackass-O-Lantern
 
Top