LumberJocks

Funnies #11: Differences between woodies and their partners.

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Blog entry by robscastle posted 07-02-2019 07:44 AM 865 reads 0 times favorited 16 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 10: Staining timber was never so exciting Part 11 of Funnies series Part 12: Dog jokes courtesy of the shy LBD »

I thought I had better post this, the reason being just in case there is a LJ out there that at didnt know the differerences

It not gender specific so if there are any Lumber Jills looking just swap the heading names around.

-- Regards Rob



16 comments so far

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recycle1943

3039 posts in 2043 days


#1 posted 07-02-2019 09:46 AM

pretty sure I need to stay away from this

-- Dick, Malvern Ohio - my biggest fear is that when I die, my wife sells my toys for what I told her I paid for them

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#2 posted 07-02-2019 10:16 AM

I have always maintained that me in a tool shop is conducive of a woman in a shoe shop,

clap… clap…encore,

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#3 posted 07-02-2019 11:49 AM

OMG what the!

Were you thinking of going to the gay Mardi Gras or something! (Crazed Fun Man)

NSW Premier and foe of spell check Gladys Berejiklian has today announced that the annual Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras will no longer be going ahead, after police were anonymously tipped off that a person or people may be planning some kind of ‘fun’ at the event.

“While it with the heaviest of hearts that we have to make this decision, I’m afraid based on the intelligence I’ve received I simply cannot allow this event to go ahead in good conscience,” explained the Premier at a press conference this afternoon. “Not only are there reports of a crazed ‘fun man’ planning to attend the event, but I have also learned that he is now in possession the ingredients required to construct a ‘jager bomb’, which I can only assume is a kind of deadly, terrorist device.”

“However, all is not lost,” continued Berejiklian, with a smile. “While we may not be able to hold the glittery, sequined spectacular that Sydney has become accustomed to, I’ve got something just as good planned, and it’s my pleasure to introduce to you all today the brand new, gay and lesbian sausage sizzle and knitting afternoon, which will be held annually on the first weekend of March, weather permitting of course.”

“I’m sorry,” continued Mrs Berejiklian moments later, “I’ve just been informed by my colleague that the Sausage Sizzle and Knitting Afternoon has been cancelled. Apparently there was too much of a liability that someone might slip on one of the onions and then fall on a needle, killing them instantly. Guess we’ll always have the memories though. Now who’s down to go get some plain rice and water in China town? Oh wait, never mind it’s almost 2pm, can’t be having a meal so close to dinner now can we now! But I’ve got some bran crackers in my handbag if anyone wants to be especially naughty?”

The entire press conference was then raided by police and shut down, after the large gathering listening to a woman on stage was mistaken for an illegal high risk music festival

-- Regards Rob

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recycle1943

3039 posts in 2043 days


#4 posted 07-02-2019 03:33 PM

man’o’man – you tease us with a news release then cancel in the same sentence. I’m totally crushed, I was trying to get hold of Anthony to see if he would stop and pick me up on his way by ‘cause I know he was headed the the Sausage Sizzle.

-- Dick, Malvern Ohio - my biggest fear is that when I die, my wife sells my toys for what I told her I paid for them

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pottz

5552 posts in 1405 days


#5 posted 07-02-2019 05:41 PM



I have always maintained that me in a tool shop is conducive of a woman in a shoe shop,

clap… clap…encore,

- LittleBlackDuck


OMG what the!
-rob.
YIKES-me thinks the duck has hit the vino too hard too many times-LMFAO!

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

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LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#6 posted 07-02-2019 10:53 PM



Were you thinking of going to the gay Mardi Gras or something! (Crazed Fun Man)
- robscastle

It it wasn’t for my pottzy reply below, I would have said… “With boots like that the gays would infiltrate Churchill!”... but I can’t, so unread it.

me thinks the duck has hit the vino too hard too many times-LMFAO!
- pottz

Me thinks, you’ve hit the vino too many times… in my eyes those boots are normal colour…perhaps shiny form too much polish,

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#7 posted 07-02-2019 11:03 PM

Hold the phone …what has happened here?

Found some pixelated edges, ... ha ha got you ….busted !!

Not sure what happened to the zoom in

A very good job just the same almost got me!

-- Regards Rob

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#8 posted 07-02-2019 11:10 PM

Another one of my “jokes” has backfired, (again) I just spent 15 minutes sending Anthony messages not realising it was nothing to do with the LJs BBQ swap but the mention of the gay and lesbian sausage sizzle.

Sorry about that guys!

-- Regards Rob

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#9 posted 07-03-2019 12:33 AM



... the gay and lesbian sausage sizzle.
- robscastle

Hmmm! Who uses the sausage and who sizzles?

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#10 posted 07-03-2019 12:41 AM

I heard there were going to be some dolphins there too …entertaining the girls

You cannot beat a hot sausage!

-- Regards Rob

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LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#11 posted 07-03-2019 12:49 AM


You cannot beat a hot sausage!
- robscastle

When it comes to sizzles, I’m a prawn man… or is it I’m a prawn, man…

Dolphins… that’s just my grey suit that complements the grey boots.


Not sure what happened to the zoom in
- robscastle

Nothing… but, in the words of Mr. Schreider ”You gotta get a bigger camera.

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#12 posted 07-03-2019 01:08 AM

I am not sure if they make a bigger one?

-- Regards Rob

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#13 posted 07-03-2019 01:51 AM

Yep…..

they certainly do…

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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robscastle

6223 posts in 2625 days


#14 posted 07-03-2019 02:06 AM

Oh your such a funny man Alex, ... what would we do without you!
BTW whats with the pink Boots ? did you raid the wife cupboard?

-- Regards Rob

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1241 days


#15 posted 07-03-2019 02:50 AM


BTW whats with the pink Boots ? did you raid the wife cupboard?

- robscastle


It was my contribution to give political correctness a substancial foundation.

Was a 1970’s theme party in the ‘60s.

Damn that lass… I still remember my name!

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

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