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Couple Of Jokes.

by Richard
posted 01-18-2018 10:46 PM


49 replies so far

View caboxmaker's profile

caboxmaker

280 posts in 927 days


#1 posted 01-19-2018 02:11 AM

We already have a joke thread with 3457 jokes in it. Your jokes should go there. Don’t reinvent the wheel…

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#2 posted 01-19-2018 02:17 AM


We already have a joke thread with 3457 jokes in it. Your jokes should go there. Don t reinvent the wheel…

- caboxmaker

Maybe it’s time for a new Joke thread. Who wants to wade through 3457 Old Jokes? I am NOT reinventing the wheel!

It’s also “Coffee Shop”. I can Post whatever, as long as it’s in good taste and within the rules.

25 Posts and 259 Days on here, hardly qualifies you to tell me what to do ,as if your an Administrator.

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#3 posted 01-19-2018 06:17 AM

Well I liked your jokes!

No workshop no home one liners for stories, ... might have bought it on ebay?
At least its not sideways!...need to say more?

-- Regards Rob

View OleGrump's profile

OleGrump

507 posts in 883 days


#4 posted 01-19-2018 01:19 PM

Aw, There’s always some old crab who ran out of Preparation H. There are also those who are aptly described by the last cartoon posted above. And there are those who are too cheap to spend a dollar to buy themselves a personality.
The rest of us actually HAVE a sense of humor and ENJOY a few jokes. Here’s another for you:
“The telephone got the wrong the name. The telephone SHOULD actually be called the ‘toilet’, because whenever it rings, there is always some butt-hole full of crap on the other end.”

-- OleGrump

View OleGrump's profile

OleGrump

507 posts in 883 days


#5 posted 01-19-2018 01:20 PM

Aw, There’s always some old crab who ran out of Preparation H. There are also those who are aptly described by the last cartoon posted above. And there are those who are too cheap to spend a dollar to buy themselves a personality.
The rest of us actually HAVE a sense of humor and ENJOY a few jokes. Here’s another for you:
“The telephone got the wrong the name. The telephone SHOULD actually be called the ‘toilet’, because whenever it rings, there is always some butt-hole full of crap on the other end.”

-- OleGrump

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#6 posted 01-19-2018 03:37 PM



Well I liked your jokes!

No workshop no home one liners for stories, ... might have bought it on ebay?
At least its not sideways!...need to say more?

- robscastle

Robert: Thanks for your Support! it’s much appreciated.

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#7 posted 01-19-2018 03:57 PM

Aw, There s always some old crab who ran out of Preparation H. There are also those who are aptly described by the last cartoon posted above. And there are those who are too cheap to spend a dollar to buy themselves a personality. The rest of us actually HAVE a sense of humor and ENJOY a few jokes. Here s another for you: “The telephone got the wrong the name. The telephone SHOULD actually be called the toilet , because whenever it rings, there is always some butt-hole full of crap on the other end.”

- OleGrump

OleGrump:

Thanks for your support also! I enjoyed your Quotes in your above Reply.

It bothered me that HE seemed to think that HE had some kind of authority and the Right to tell me what to do! He was WRONG! It’s Coffee Shop! HE doesn’t even understand what the Rules & Regs are around here!

I personally would NEVER of done a Post like he did! This is a Great Site and Negative Responses don’t do anyone any good!

I like to try and Lighten things Up once and a while as well as Positive Comments on the Projects.

Thanks again. Keep Smiling!

Best Regards: Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#8 posted 01-19-2018 11:09 PM

I could possibly spare some 36 Grit to apply in my usual fashion!

I wonder when radial ply tyres were invented in 1915 did somebody say “dont reinvent the wheel” and as a result
nothing happened until the late 40s when Michelin came along to do the same thing over again?

-- Regards Rob

View Dark_Lightning's profile

Dark_Lightning

3640 posts in 3648 days


#9 posted 01-20-2018 02:03 AM



I could possibly spare some 36 Grit to apply in my usual fashion!

I wonder when radial ply tyres were invented in 1915 did somebody say “dont reinvent the wheel” and as a result
nothing happened until the late 40s when Michelin came along to do the same thing over again?

- robscastle

Dude! That is one “tyred” joke! hee hee

-- Steven.......Random Orbital Nailer

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#10 posted 01-20-2018 06:43 AM

Sorry thats the best I could roll out!

-- Regards Rob

View pontic's profile

pontic

697 posts in 1147 days


#11 posted 01-20-2018 01:02 PM

“What do we got here guys? I don’t know, but you get a shovel and I’ll get a pick and we’ll make a mountin out of this thing”

-- Illigitimii non carburundum sum

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#12 posted 01-20-2018 03:04 PM

Thank You pontic? Coming to you from the Molehill!

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#13 posted 01-21-2018 02:37 AM


We already have a joke thread with 3457 jokes in it. Your jokes should go there. Don t reinvent the wheel…

I totally agree rick this guys comes out as the lj’s authority, I mean one project,no shop pics and no buddies-wonder why? hey caboxmaker stop criticizing members that contribute and do something usefull,or keep your mouth shut,weve got too many of you here already!oh before I forget to say,love the jokes rick-lol.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View Dark_Lightning's profile

Dark_Lightning

3640 posts in 3648 days


#14 posted 01-21-2018 04:59 AM

Some peops are wound a little too tight around the axle. Just roll with it. It’s only another forum on the internet. If you want angst, I can show you sites with enough to keep you awake at night, wondering how people can be that crazy. I come here as a form of relaxation. :nods:

-- Steven.......Random Orbital Nailer

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

5974 posts in 2948 days


#15 posted 01-21-2018 05:11 AM

Heard this from a customer today. “I may not be the brightest bulb on the Christmas Tree, but I am the only one that is lit currently.”

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#16 posted 01-21-2018 05:44 AM

yeah if you think wood workers are aggressive go to the cooking forums,i was on one and a woman talked about a technique to cook chicken without drying it out,man in 5 minutes they cooked here-OUCH!!!.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#17 posted 01-21-2018 12:34 PM

What the hell is that pottzy! ... a chicken joke in disguise?

You are also a naughty boy! ...go! ...thats two in my workshop now!

-- Regards Rob

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#18 posted 01-21-2018 01:06 PM


We already have a joke thread with 3457 jokes in it. Your jokes should go there. Don t reinvent the wheel…

I totally agree rick this guys comes out as the lj s authority, I mean one project,no shop pics and no buddies-wonder why? hey caboxmaker stop criticizing members that contribute and do something usefull,or keep your mouth shut,weve got too many of you here already!oh before I forget to say,love the jokes rick-lol.

- pottz

Thank you pottz Buddy! Great Reply especially this part….

“hey caboxmaker stop criticizing members that contribute and do something usefull,or keep your mouth shut,weve got too many of you here already!”

This guy is a Nobody who thinks He has some kind of Authority!

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View ChuckV's profile

ChuckV

3244 posts in 4066 days


#19 posted 01-21-2018 02:59 PM

Attention:

I am the Officia in Charge of the Use of the etter That Comes After ‘K’. This thread has reached the imit. Henceforth, pease refrain from any use of that etter.

Faiure to compy wi resut in appropriate keyboard modifications.

-- “Big man, pig man, ha ha, charade you are.” ― R. Waters

View BurlyBob's profile

BurlyBob

6636 posts in 2804 days


#20 posted 01-21-2018 04:19 PM

Life is to short to sweat the little things! The more you can laugh, all the better.

Keep them coming.

View 000's profile

000

2859 posts in 1438 days


#21 posted 01-21-2018 04:27 PM

<bockquote>
ife is to short to sweat the ittle things! The more you can augh, a the better.

Keep them coming.

- BuryBob
</bockquote>

Fixed! Don’t want you getting busted!

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

5974 posts in 2948 days


#22 posted 01-21-2018 04:44 PM

For a good laugh replace your buddies imperial tape measure with a metric one. My neighbor took my metric one out of my project bag by mistake and went nuts trying to figure out why it seemed, “wrongish”.

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#23 posted 01-21-2018 05:03 PM



Life is to short to sweat the little things! The more you can laugh, all the better.

Keep them coming.

- BurlyBob

BINGO Bob! Exactly what I’m trying to do with some of these Jokes!

Thanks: Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#24 posted 01-21-2018 05:29 PM

Just a friendly Little “THANK YOU” to all who have Responded! Your Responses make it all worthwhile!

Best Regards: Rick

P.S. Here’s a Quick One for Ya’ll!

(No Offence Intended to the Lady Ljers)

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View LesB's profile

LesB

2220 posts in 3982 days


#25 posted 01-21-2018 05:54 PM

Posted in My shop

-- Les B, Oregon

View woodbutcherbynight's profile

woodbutcherbynight

5974 posts in 2948 days


#26 posted 01-21-2018 08:27 PM

Good one!!

ROFLMAO

-- Live to tell the stories, they sound better that way.

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#27 posted 01-21-2018 08:45 PM



Posted in My shop

- LesB

i can definitly relate to that!-lol.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View Andre's profile

Andre

2829 posts in 2345 days


#28 posted 01-21-2018 08:58 PM

I loved his “Dumb Ass” comments!

-- Lifting one end of the plank.

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#29 posted 01-21-2018 11:42 PM

hey rick if caboxmaker were to come on and apologize to you would you be willing to chalk it up to newbie ignorance and forgive his ignorant comment?.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View pontic's profile

pontic

697 posts in 1147 days


#30 posted 01-21-2018 11:54 PM

One night an 87 yr old woman came into her apartment to find her 02 ye. old husband in bed with another younger woman. In a fit of anger she pushed him of the balcony of their 20 story apartment killing him instantly. In court for her arraignment for murder the Judge asked her if she had anything to say. She said in a very cool manner; ” Your Honor, at his age if he can screw then I figured he could fly”
” No sh$T” the preacher said.

A member of the congregation ran into the preacher on Monday. He said ” Rev. that was the best damned sermon I ever heard. Yes It was Damn good.”
The Preacher then proceded to tell him;” I appreciate that, but you don’t have to use so much profanity. ”
The man then said ; ” It was so good I put 5000 dollars in the collection plate”

-- Illigitimii non carburundum sum

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#31 posted 01-22-2018 12:22 AM

love it pontic-lol.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#32 posted 01-22-2018 11:29 AM

What,...? I dont see anything funny? ...I have had too many ports maybe?

But I did see nudity!!! tut tut!

Posting Rules

Play nice. Keep it civil and respectful and appropriate for all ages.
Spam, advertising, pornography or pin ups of naked birds with big hooters that might get robscastle excited will not be tolerated.

LesB… All in good humour of course!

-- Regards Rob

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#33 posted 01-22-2018 11:33 AM



hey rick if caboxmaker were to come on and apologize to you would you be willing to chalk it up to newbie ignorance and forgive his ignorant comment?.

- pottz

I guess.

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View pontic's profile

pontic

697 posts in 1147 days


#34 posted 01-22-2018 02:11 PM

An MD was giving a talk to a group of Seniors. He told them about the long term harmful effects of eating toomuch red meat and that how soda pop will eventually corrode your stomach. Too much fatty foods and carbohydrates will lead to heart problems and diabetis.
He then said “What is another food that will lead to long term health problems and suffering down the road?” A little old senior man stood up and said; ” I know, eating your own wedding cake”

-- Illigitimii non carburundum sum

View pontic's profile

pontic

697 posts in 1147 days


#35 posted 01-22-2018 02:21 PM

A concerned Mother went to her doctor to speak about her teenaged Daughter. She told the Doctor that she was rebellious and now sexually inquisitive. She was worried that she was going to have unprotected sex and wondered if she should refuse to let her date until she could get worked up to get birth control. The doctor told her that refusing to let her date would only make her more rebellious and she would do it anyway. He saiy give her a handful of these condoms and tell her to use these if she really must have sex; howeaver you don’t approve of it.
So the mother goes home. That Friday night she gives her Daughter the condoms and has the talk. The Daughter laughs and gives the condoms back. The Mother was stunned.
The daughter then says; ” Don’t worry mom, I’m dating Margaret”

-- Illigitimii non carburundum sum

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#36 posted 01-22-2018 04:37 PM

OMG they are getting worse!

-- Regards Rob

View Andre's profile

Andre

2829 posts in 2345 days


#37 posted 01-22-2018 09:07 PM

The Mechanic and The Cardiologist
A Lexus mechanic was removing a cylinder head from the motor
of a LS460 when he spotted a well known cardiologist in his shop.
The cardiologist was there waiting for the service manager to come
and take a look at his car when the mechanic shouted across the
garage, “Hey Doc, want to take a look at this?”
The cardiologist, a bit surprised, walked over to where the mechanic was working.
The mechanic straightened up, wiped his hands on a rag and asked,
“So Doc, look at this engine. I opened its heart, took the valves out,
repaired or replaced anything damaged, and then put everything back in,
and when I finished, it worked just like new.
So how is it that I make $48,000 a year and you make $1.7M,
when you and I are doing basically the same work?”

The cardiologist paused, leaned over,
and then whispered to the mechanic….... “Try doing it with the engine running.”

-- Lifting one end of the plank.

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#38 posted 01-22-2018 09:49 PM

Now we are geting better!

and BTW

1. I think that apology should not even be considered without my customary 32 Grit rub down!
2. Pottzy must have had a fall and hit his head. ... either that he knows something we dont. and
3. I am really sad nobody noticed my censor job I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the time, thinking everybody would be hooting and roaring about it ....but not even a peep, ... oh well, .... I am gutted! ... I might even have a little cry!! sniffle sniffle!

-- Regards Rob

View mel52's profile

mel52

1068 posts in 803 days


#39 posted 01-23-2018 03:51 AM

It’s after 11. Lets count your fingers and call it a day. MAN, there are some days when I’m counting my fingers all the time !!!!!!!!

-- MEL, Kansas

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#40 posted 01-23-2018 12:42 PM

and BTW

1. I think that apology should not even be considered without my customary 32 Grit rub down!
2. Pottzy must have had a fall and hit his head. ... either that he knows something we dont.
and
3. I am really sad nobody noticed my censor job I nearly fell off my chair laughing at the time, thinking everybody would be hooting and roaring about it ....but not even a peep, ... oh well, .... I am gutted! ... I might even have a little cry!! sniffle sniffle!

- robscastle

You could be right Robert! Why should Carboxmaker deserve a break? He ran His Mouth when He didn’t know what He was talking about! He is also NOT a Newbie as pottz mentioned.

How is he supposed to apologize? He is one of the FEW People that I’ve Blocked! I just checked his Home Page. He hasn’t even been on here since he made the Nasty Remark on Jan 18, 2018. Prior to that He was here on Oct. 10, 2017.

This gets Weirder all the time! Now I have to ask…..... Why is pottz trying to make the Peace and HOW can he do that!

Rick

PS: I didn’t come back on here to get involved in this kind of Crap and it’s also the reason I got off here a while back (Nov. 16, 2015) because of 2 Guys that just kept going at Me! NO! I’m not being Over Sensitive! Just Sensible! I’M DONE HERE! THIS POST IS NOW OFF OF “WATCH”!

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#41 posted 01-23-2018 01:18 PM

THIS POST IS NOW OFF “WATCH”! HOWEVER “POST AWAY” IF YOU FEEL LIKE DOING SO!

THANKS TO ALL WHO POSTED A COMMENT ON HERE.

BEST REGARDS: RICK

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#42 posted 01-23-2018 02:52 PM

So There! ...LOL…

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#43 posted 01-24-2018 12:20 AM

Yep!

-- Regards Rob

View Knockonit's profile

Knockonit

613 posts in 741 days


#44 posted 01-24-2018 01:27 AM

hmm, hesitant to post here in regards to anything, for happenstance of being ridiculed for commenting.

just saying
lol
rj

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6480 posts in 2743 days


#45 posted 01-24-2018 01:30 AM

Ridiculed ? who me!! everybodies 32 grit friend

Not a lot going on in the projects or blog at the moment, and you know what they say idle hands lead to mischief.

-- Regards Rob

View pottz's profile

pottz

6684 posts in 1523 days


#46 posted 01-24-2018 02:20 AM



hmm, hesitant to post here in regards to anything, for happenstance of being ridiculed for commenting.

just saying
lol
rj

- Knockonit

this kind of posting is not the norm here,just when an idiot comes on and makes a stupid comment to a veteran member.its mostly some of the greatest kindest and sharing people you will find anywhere.trust me this forum is tame compared to some ive been on-and thrown off of-LOL!.

-- sawdust the bigger the pile the bigger my smile-larry,so cal.

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#47 posted 01-24-2018 12:06 PM



hmm, hesitant to post here in regards to anything, for happenstance of being ridiculed for commenting.

just saying
lol
rj

- Knockonit

That’s NOT going to happen on this Post! If you have something to say. SAY IT! Just make sure it’s not a Negative Comment that is not deserved.

YOU are welcome to Post Knockonit!

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#48 posted 01-24-2018 12:08 PM

Regards: Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

View Richard's profile

Richard

11307 posts in 3572 days


#49 posted 01-24-2018 05:10 PM

Rick

-- Richard (Ontario, CANADA)

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