You might be a wood worker (chip-monk) if:

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Blog entry by Richard posted 06-27-2011 07:38 PM 5086 reads 0 times favorited 14 comments Add to Favorites Watch

(I can’t believe I haven’t seen something like this on here…)

You can create something out of nothing and have scraps left over.
You can spend hours looking at a chunk/hoard of wood picturing what you are going to do with it.
You have created a bandage out of anything absorbent and anything adhesive…. or even twine.
You can determine a type of wood by its taste.
You have had sawdust appear in a stool sample.
You have finished off a beverage (coffee, soft drink, water, beer) and found sawdust in the bottom… and not cared.
You loose focus on the speaker because of the incredible grain of the podium.
You have pulled splinters from areas that should NEVER have experienced that type of invasion.

(to be continued…)

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard. PNW.

14 comments so far

View 1978's profile


167 posts in 4856 days

#1 posted 06-27-2011 08:03 PM

Your spouse looks at your workshop and wonders why you have 4 drills and 3 sanders.

View Richard's profile


297 posts in 3784 days

#2 posted 06-27-2011 08:15 PM

I have heard something very close…
“Why do you need another one? You can only use one at a time.”

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard. PNW.

View KayBee's profile


1083 posts in 4493 days

#3 posted 06-27-2011 08:29 PM

You think you tube has great mostly woodworking videos and a few funny ones.

You might want to check these out for some good ones too.

-- Karen - a little bit of stupid goes a long way

View Richard's profile


297 posts in 3784 days

#4 posted 06-27-2011 09:37 PM

Ok.. ok… I give. Should have known that you pack of yahoos would have already taken care of this!
I checked the two leads you posted… I think I wet my pants… People keep peeking into my office with a perplexed, “Are you ok?” look on their faces.
Damn… a great laugh on a Monday afternoon.. Excellent.

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard. PNW.

View Airshelves's profile


3 posts in 3772 days

#5 posted 06-27-2011 10:08 PM

Very funny topic, suprised I haven’t seen this circling the web myself.

View William's profile


9950 posts in 4089 days

#6 posted 06-28-2011 12:56 AM

When someone mentions “he’s carrying his man magazines to the bathroom again”, they’re talking about Shop Notes, not Playboy.


View lew's profile


13428 posts in 5002 days

#7 posted 06-28-2011 02:54 AM

What! What? What?!?

-- Lew- Time traveler. Purveyor of the Universe's finest custom rolling pins.

View Grumpy's profile


26812 posts in 5098 days

#8 posted 06-28-2011 03:20 AM

You have glue or hardwood stain all over your fingers when you go to that nice restaurant. What a great look that is

-- Grumpy - "Always look on the bright side of life"- Monty Python

View Wayne's profile


196 posts in 3840 days

#9 posted 06-28-2011 05:10 AM

allot of the “you might be a _ if” gather only a pity chuckle, these are poster worthy!

View murch's profile


1380 posts in 3871 days

#10 posted 06-28-2011 09:55 AM

You might be a wood-worker if :-
you can remember the exact time and day you bought your first lathe/bandsaw/planer etc but you haven’t
a clue when your kids birthdays are.
you go to a market and you find yourself in a group of intent, shifty-eyed maniac types, rummaging silently
through junked-out hand tools…..and you don’t really stand out .
you would happily trample across scantily clad hotties in order to get your hands on the last free chisel
or clamp available with your cut-out coupon for the local hardware.

-- A family man has photos in his wallet where his money used to be.

View NoLongerHere's profile


893 posts in 3923 days

#11 posted 06-28-2011 02:24 PM

You might be a wood-worker if:

You can’t throw away a coffee can….or a spare screw to put in the can.

You look at a log or a wood shipping crate and wonder what you can make out of it.

You look up at the ceiling beams and trim work at church or a restaurant.

Your wife separates the wash in to 3 piles….whites, colors, his dusty work clothes.

Your wife knows at least 6 wood species and knows what quater sawn means.

You love LJ as much as I do!

View Wayne's profile


196 posts in 3840 days

#12 posted 06-29-2011 03:02 AM

Ran into this one today
The barber gets frustrated because you wont stop staring down at that one piece of “curly” flooring.

View FordMike's profile


155 posts in 4717 days

#13 posted 06-29-2011 07:41 AM

Your local Quicky Mart carries Band-aids, eye-wash and leather gloves because you’ve asked so many times. You’re spouse and children know that easy Christmas and birthday presents are renewals to favorite magazines. You’re wife reminds you the week before important social events to not sharpen, chisel, plane, or knife blades so your arm hair stays intact and you don’t look like you have the mange. You’re wife has experience closing open wounds with super glue Thats my contribution Ford Mike

View Richard's profile


297 posts in 3784 days

#14 posted 06-30-2011 01:31 AM

Thanks Mike… I love this site and the knuckle-headed that populate it!

-- 'I sand, therefore, I am'. Richard. PNW.

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