The ABCs of woodworking: A woodworking hoedown!

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Blog entry by Stevinmarin posted 11-27-2010 01:29 AM 6470 reads 1 time favorited 37 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Just wanted to see if I could make a video in a single take. Well, it took some effort.

Here are the lyrics I wrote and was trying to sing…in case you want to follow along!

A is for adhesive
Bandsaw starts with B.
Its blades are tipped with carbide
And that begins with C.

D is for my dovetail jig
I thought it was a must,
But mostly what it does
Is gather lots of dust.

End grain and face grain,
There’s your E and F.
Good god Gorilla Glue
It really makes a mess

H is for my hacksaw
Hanging on my hutch
Having it is handy
But I don’t use it very much

Should I attempt intarsia
‘cause it begins with I?
If I get some fancy wood
I may give it a try.

J is for my jointer
Its knives begin with K
But so does kerf and kickback
And they’re more fun to say

Linseed oil begins with L
And don’t leave out the lacquer
Both of them dry super fast
Perfect for this slacker.

Now I’m halfway through this song
My miter saw’s an M
Maybe I can mercifully
Make this madness end.

N is for my nail gun
It sure beats pounding nails
Often times I overlook
Outfitting it with oil

Poplar, pine and purpleheart
And plywood start with P.
Q is for the question,
What’s it gonna cost to me?

R is for my router
Sandpaper starts with S.
And I use my ShopVac
To sweep up all the mess.

Tuning up my tablesaw
Takes a lot of time
And U is for the underside
I think I’ll let it slide

My vice is good for holding things
It lets my hands be free.
But Velcro is my favorite
Vord that starts with V.

Naturally W
Is for my scraps of wood
I could make a xylophone
X it ain’t no good.

Y is for my yellow glue
I use it constantly.
Not only does it stick to wood
But it sticks to me.

Now it’s time to end this song
And it’s really plain to me…
I seem to have no tools
That begin with letter Z.

-- Entertainment for mere mortal woodworkers.

37 comments so far

View JJohnston's profile


1622 posts in 3686 days

#1 posted 11-27-2010 01:49 AM

At once, absolutely brilliant and absolutely moronic! :D :D :D

Are you a fan of Tom Lehrer?

-- "A man may conduct himself well in both adversity and good fortune, but if you want to test his character, give him power." - Abraham Lincoln

View Skylark53's profile


2699 posts in 3455 days

#2 posted 11-27-2010 01:51 AM

Super job Steve. Thanks for sharing.

-- Rick, Tennessee, John 3:16

View StumpyNubs's profile


7709 posts in 3195 days

#3 posted 11-27-2010 02:00 AM

never thought I’d see a sombrero in a hoedown.

-- Subscribe to "Stumpy Nubs Woodworking Journal"- One of the crafts' most unique publications:

View John Ormsby's profile

John Ormsby

1288 posts in 4132 days

#4 posted 11-27-2010 02:01 AM

Very Cool Steve!!!

Now you only need a Zyliss vice to make your tool collection complete.

-- Oldworld, Fair Oaks, Ca

View Chelios's profile


568 posts in 3461 days

#5 posted 11-27-2010 02:30 AM

Steve this was hilarious ….My toddlers are learning their ABCs on your song. They asked me to play it twice. Maybe you found a new target audience.

good job

View Eric_S's profile


1565 posts in 3590 days

#6 posted 11-27-2010 02:40 AM

Steve that was great. How many takes did that take?

-- - Eric Noblesville, IN

View Dennisgrosen's profile


10880 posts in 3510 days

#7 posted 11-27-2010 02:48 AM

Fantastic and very Funny Steve
now you only have to make the last Æ Ø Å in the Danish
and the 2800 in the chinice and the Japanese and not to forget
the russian , greeke , ETC. ETC. ABCs so you have alot of studiotime infront of you
the next cupple of years….LOL

have a great weekend

View OttoH's profile


891 posts in 3405 days

#8 posted 11-27-2010 02:58 AM

Love it Steve, you mean to tell me that you have no Zebra Wood stashed in that handy little bin of yours.

Was that really take 37?

-- I am responsible for how I respond to everything in my life - - Deadwood SD

View Pawky's profile


278 posts in 3198 days

#9 posted 11-27-2010 03:11 AM

haha, you are definitely having too much fun :)

View bradshaw's profile


20 posts in 3325 days

#10 posted 11-27-2010 03:29 AM

A to Z hilarious…... Norm ahould try it! “R” for Router was too easy…. should’a used…. “rattle cans!”

Take care and again… funniest man on the planet!

View alfred222's profile


98 posts in 3361 days

#11 posted 11-27-2010 05:32 AM

Doesn’t matter what sort of mood i’m in when i arrive at your site,I allways leave laughing and wondering whats next. Keep up the great work. THANKS Alf

View Bob Kollman's profile

Bob Kollman

1798 posts in 3585 days

#12 posted 11-27-2010 07:36 AM

A+++++++ for memory.

D+ for singing voice.

A+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ for BRAVERY!!!!!

-- Bob Kenosha Wi.

View nmkidd's profile


758 posts in 3567 days

#13 posted 11-27-2010 08:05 AM

as usual…..a cinematic treasure…....left me smiling!!!

maybe you can call the white house and borrow one of the presidents’ teleprompters!!!!

-- Doug, New Mexico.......the only stupid question is one that is never asked!........don't fix it, if it ain't broke!

View BigTiny's profile


1676 posts in 3283 days

#14 posted 11-27-2010 09:06 AM

Z is for zebrawood.

-- The nicer the nice, the higher the price!

View Scott Bryan's profile

Scott Bryan

27250 posts in 4217 days

#15 posted 11-27-2010 12:14 PM

Thanks, Steve. This was pretty good. It definitely got my day started off with a laugh. :)

-- Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful- Joshua Marine

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