Deep Thoughts - Reader Beware #13: Body and soul

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Blog entry by Sandra posted 07-04-2014 11:12 AM 1717 reads 0 times favorited 10 comments Add to Favorites Watch
« Part 12: Total Fluff Part 13 of Deep Thoughts - Reader Beware series Part 14: Body and soul »

I’m notorious for over-thinking, overanalyzing and basically spending too much energy navel-gazing. This blog is intended to get some of it out of my head. I’ll be glib, sarcastic and flippant in my other posts. Who knows how this one will turn out. It may be a train wreck, so reader beware! If navel-gazing doesn’t hold any appeal or distraction for you, move on. If you’re allergic to estrogen, move away quickly.

My own personal rules are to not to spend more than 30 minutes on any one post. I can correct a mistake if I catch it right away, but can’t go back. If I post it, I can’t edit or delete. I tend to edit things to death and have been known to delete my posts before it’s too late.

If anything resonates with you, feel free to chime in.

0732 My first morning blog I believe. I’ve crawled back into bed with my laptop, with various parts of my body unhappy that I forced myself out from under the covers in the first place. For Eastern Canada, it’s been stinking hot and my battery feels drained. That, and my muscles are killing me. Here’s why:

In March, my left quad ‘seized up’. Or something. Not quite sure. Regardless of what it’s called, it has been changing between very sore, sore, and seriously painful. Massage therapist says it’s consistent with spasticity, which would be consistent with the MS theory, but at this point, I’ve taken a break from the medical mystery machine and I don’t really care why. It just is.

The massage therapist did give me a wake up call though. She told me to ‘use it or lose it’. If this is MS, she said it’s important to strengthen the muscles. Although it’s sore, my quad isn’t really being used much. The lightbulb went on for me and so I’ve been using some of my precious energy reserves for strength exercises and have been looking like a complete idiot doing contortions with a foam roller. So now everything is sore. The upside is that it has taken my mind off some of the other symptoms I deal with.

There are many ways to look at this whole ‘mortal coil’ or ‘mortal clay’ thing.
Christopher Reeves wrote that his wife saved his life by looking at him in his hospital bed after his accident and saying “You’re still you and I love you”. Melissa Ethridge wrote about being in the hospital during cancer treatment in excruciating pain. She said something about her realization that she was not just her body. It was something about part of her body could be taken away, and she would still be herself. They both had a point.

If we’re lucky, we all get old. In the process, our bodies change. Getting ‘sick’ just means it happens all at once, or out of the blue, or more dramatically than we had hoped. Where was I going with this? Writing before my second cup of coffee was a bad idea. Oh yeah, body and soul.

I realized yesterday that I was getting really grumpy. I had not made any sawdust in a few weeks, which I figured was part of the problem. However, true to my duty as the household Evil Queen, I blamed everyone else. Sawdust is soul food for me. So as tired as I was yesterday, I fired up my sander outside and sanded some chair parts in the pre-Arthur wind. (Thanks to Monte, I can’t think about this weather now without thinking of Dudley Moore, but I digress.)

Everything still hurts. My quad is doing the funky chicken and the evil little gnomes that zap my legs are in fine form today. But, I made SAWDUST. And when I look in the mirror and ignore the tired face looking back at me and take a look at her eyes, I’m still me.

So yes, whatever is going on with my body is important. Not important enough for me to give up coffee or become vegetarian, you understand, but important nevertheless. My soul on the other hand, and the proper feeding thereof, is essential. That’s what makes me me.

I’ve promised my LJ buddies to lay off the delete button for awhile so I won’t delete this. Besides, rambling is part of who I am also.
And coffee. And MASH re-runs. Oh and lumber hoarding (waaaaalnut) and and…
Oh yeah, and I’m employed too. So getting out of bed is a bit of a necessity.

Happy July 4th. Feel free to be yourselves.

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

10 comments so far

View Monte Pittman's profile

Monte Pittman

30428 posts in 2821 days

#1 posted 07-04-2014 11:29 AM

I of course always love your ramblings. Because you are human and not afraid to admit it. You always point out things that everyone feels but is afraid to say. Will always be proud to call you a friend.

-- Nature created it, I just assemble it.

View DIYaholic's profile


19848 posts in 3158 days

#2 posted 07-04-2014 12:18 PM

Yep, ya is who ya is….

I’m a procrastinator….
& I use LJs as the facilitator!!!

I hope that you enjoy many more a “sawdust smorgasbord”….
The results of which look great!!!
That & they are also very good for you!!!

FYI: I posted this same comment, on the next duplicate blog post….
Figured that I saved time, to get back to procrastinating & in case one of them is deleted.

-- Randy-- I may not be good...but I am slow! If good things come to those who wait.... Why is procrastination a bad thing?

View CFrye's profile


10740 posts in 2323 days

#3 posted 07-04-2014 12:51 PM

Looks like Cricket really did delete your delete button! Yay! ;-)

-- God bless, Candy

View Don Broussard's profile

Don Broussard

3782 posts in 2735 days

#4 posted 07-04-2014 12:53 PM

Sandra—Another thoughtful blog. I enjoy your blogs BECAUSE they are deep navel-gazings, and like Monte said, you say things that many of us think about but don’t write about. I have a sister-in-law that was diagnosed with MS over 10 years ago, and she would appreciate the “use it or lose it” comment from the massage therapist, because that’s her philosophy as well. She rode a 100-mile bike ride over a weekend just a few weeks ago, and she seems to be asymptomatic. I understand about the sawdust therapy, but don’t use black walnut, sassafras or pressure-treated lumber for your therapy—the cure is worse than the disease!

-- People say I hammer like lightning. It's not that I'm fast -- it's that I never hit the same place twice!

View patron's profile


13650 posts in 3824 days

#5 posted 07-04-2014 12:58 PM

wake up – check
move – check
coffee – check
sawdust – check

waiting for the weather – check

you for ‘hurricanes’ – (some high winds and some rain)
me for ‘monsoons’ – (some gusts and 15 min of drizzle)

summer is here anyway – lots of weeds out

be safe

-- david - only thru kindness can this world be whole . If we don't succeed we run the risk of failure. Dan Quayle

View eddie's profile


8565 posts in 3097 days

#6 posted 07-04-2014 02:19 PM

74 stay strong and active ,my friend we need ya ones like you make the world a better place.

-- Jesus Is Alright with me

View HerbC's profile


1801 posts in 3343 days

#7 posted 07-04-2014 02:33 PM


Even from here in Newfoundland I enjoy reading your ramblings.

Glad you didn’t delete this one.

We made the trip from Florida to Newfoundland safely. Will try to catch up and post detailed report soon.

Take Care!


-- Herb, Florida - Here's why I close most messages with "Be Careful!"

View gfadvm's profile


14940 posts in 3173 days

#8 posted 07-05-2014 12:14 AM

Yea! I finally got to one of your posts before you deleted it. Sandra, We all have our demons and deal with them in different ways. I always appreciate your take on life and its accompanying demons.

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

View Sandra's profile


7207 posts in 2559 days

#9 posted 07-06-2014 01:22 AM

Not being shy- got hit by the storn and power is out.
Thanks friends

-- No, I don't want to buy the pink hammer.

View gfadvm's profile


14940 posts in 3173 days

#10 posted 07-06-2014 01:33 AM

Just what you needed! Sorry

-- " I'll try to be nicer, if you'll try to be smarter" gfadvm

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