LumberJocks

BOOMBY or an OGWOOFY!

  • Advertise with us
Blog entry by LittleBlackDuck posted 11-22-2018 06:07 AM 960 reads 0 times favorited 16 comments Add to Favorites Watch

Boys and Girls,

BOOMBY is a species of wood I discovered when I first moved down to Churchill. It is derived from the genus, Branch Out Of My Back Yard… and produces some reasonable by products,

Just recently I discovered another new species called OGWOOFY which is a very closely guarded species of Over Grown Weed Out Of Front Yard(s),

As in those blockbuster movies, grab some popcorn and let’s go back in time… about 12 months ago I bought some useless item from Bunnings and with their generous refund policy, I returned it and seeing as how the money had already been spent and the refund was not going to set me up as a billionaire in the afterlife, being a Hungarian, I decide to buy this Pole saw,

Now all it is, is a chainsaw on a big stick, however, I’m positive I’m not by myself in admitting to a morbid fascination with chain saws.
I have no idea why I bought it other than for the fact that I had a swag of Ryobi 18V batteries to fit it, as I loathe gardening nearly as much as reading… you don’t need much imagination to appreciate that the Garden Beautiful magazine is not one of my favorite household pleasures.
I asked the missus what kind of tree that was in our front yard and being the botanist in the household, as she has a lot of experience with flour in the kitchen, she informed me it was an over grown weed… I tried to overdose it with Zero weed killer and came to realise that the bloody weed could swim and no matter how much Zero I poured on it, it kept surfacing for a breath. Now this weedy tree was in a place where I actually had to do some physical manoeuvring of the body to reach and being adverse to exercise, realised that I had that polesaw (remember the polesaw… I eventually did) harboring a new family of spiders in my shed. Made minced meat of the weed,

and I finished up with a tasty meal of meat balls though I finished up spitting chips.

Now back to my story… recently I bought a new car and in an endeavour to keep it scratch free… apart from shopping cart trolleys and dickhead careless owners of car doors in car parks… I tried to trim up some of the overhanging weeds on my property… now during one of these outdoor activities I had a home invasion by one of my neighbour’s cats who stole a $50 piece of eye fillet steak out of my kitchen while my back was turned… OK, I left the back door open… my bad… while I could see the funny side of it… hell, it was a $50 piece of eye fillet that was ageing on my kitchen bench… anyway, that’s another story and I won’t even bother mentioning it or show you the incriminating video that was captured by my internal surveillance camera.

Back to the story of my shiny new car. I thought that it might be a good idea to commission a car port to ensure it doesn’t get a dose of melanoma while sitting idle.

While surveying the driveway, I quickly… well after much contemplation, realised that this massive weed would impede it’s erection… no, no XXX inference… the construction of the carport.

Spoke to the missus and seeing as how her favourite dentures were being overhauled at the local dental mechanic… she couldn’t beaver the tree… dam (no pun intended), I had to get physical and do it myself.

Remembering the polesaw, recharged the battery and soon had another meal of meat balls and chips.

Now there was far too much of the off cuts for even my appetite and the leftovers were stacked onto my trailer,

While looking at the mess I observed some neat grain in my butchery and considered that there may be a relative of BOOMBY sitting in front of my eyes.

I hacked a few “log” sized pieces off and took them into the haven of the workshop.

These pieces were wet so I decided to seal them before hibernating them for the mandatory 1 year per 1” of diameter….

Got out my fry pan with the paraffin,

no that brown is not left over dim sims…

though the thought of a few cats deep frying did crossed my mind…
dunked them and put them out to mature,

also did a bit of basting,

Now all you have to do is patiently sit there and wait 3 years to see what I will eventually turn these weeds into…

feel free to smoke on your own while waiting!

This batch now complements some of my other BOOMBY batches,

no idea of what I’m gonna do with them…

However, while on the topic of BOOMBY, a number of my friends have left clippings from their rose bushes in my care, that I will eventually turn into a pen for them…

they all get a kick of showing off a pen “out of their garden”,

The 3 pens on the left are from a LOSR species (Log On Side of Road), while the one on the right was from one of my rose bushes.

If you found this boring, just sit back and quietly wait for the 3 years to expire.

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD



16 comments so far

View Jim Rowe's profile

Jim Rowe

1084 posts in 2726 days


#1 posted 11-22-2018 09:05 AM

Very interesting stuff! I’m sitting comfortably!!!
Jim

-- It always looks better when it's finished!

View stefang's profile

stefang

16705 posts in 3748 days


#2 posted 11-22-2018 11:25 AM

At my age I can’t wait 3 years, so I hope you will come up with something in the interim.

-- Mike, an American living in Norway.

View Redoak49's profile

Redoak49

4029 posts in 2403 days


#3 posted 11-22-2018 01:06 PM

I love that wood and when it warms up will be looking for Boomby for a project.

View wncguy's profile

wncguy

443 posts in 2726 days


#4 posted 11-22-2018 01:40 PM

I think you have the outline for a great new reality show…

-- Any man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a Dad

View doubleDD's profile

doubleDD

8444 posts in 2457 days


#5 posted 11-22-2018 02:08 PM

Cool story and you got some nice logs out of it. I would take a log or two and slice them up as boards. You would be able to use them in less than a year. plus they will have some interesting grain in them.

-- Dave, Downers Grove, Il. -------- When you run out of ideas, start building your dreams.

View GR8HUNTER's profile

GR8HUNTER

6191 posts in 1127 days


#6 posted 11-22-2018 04:49 PM

what a story….. where’s the video of you exercising with the pole saw ….. I need a good laugh LOL :<))

-- Tony---- Reinholds,Pa.------ REMEMBER TO ALWAYS HAVE FUN

View RPhillips's profile

RPhillips

1261 posts in 2250 days


#7 posted 11-23-2018 12:49 AM

lol good read. Thanks for sharing.

-- Rob - Indianapolis IN - Learning... one mistake at a time...

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1235 days


#8 posted 11-23-2018 07:42 AM

Thanks for all the kind comments.. or is it all kind of comments… thanks anyway all kind!


..... where s the video of you exercising with the pole saw …..
- GR8HUNTER

Listen mister GR8... exercise is a filthy word in this household… even when I turn the lights on to make it light… it weighs… always prepared to apease the masses, tried to do a video with me limbo-ing under the polesaw… forgot to disengage the battery… the blood claged up the lens of the camera… missus censored it due to the blood on my pole (she saw it).

... I would take a log…..
- doubleDD
’DD, I considered sending you a log so you could perform the surgery yourself as you suggested, however, postage costs put a kabosh on that idea. I will ferret through my trailer for some worthwhile thicker timber… or be evil enough to hack some more off that bereft tree…

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View Dave Polaschek's profile

Dave Polaschek

3856 posts in 996 days


#9 posted 11-23-2018 12:21 PM

I have a rose bush that has grown to be nearly about 2.5m tall. I figure at some point it’s going to need to be trimmed, as it’s next to the front sidewalk, and the weekly advertising newspaper frequently gets delivered underneath it, which makes a very festive display when I push he lawnmower in there to try to control the weeds.

In any case, I hadn’t heard of roses being used for much anything before, so it’s nice to see you’ve made pens from at least one. Sorry, ducky, but you actually had something informative in your post! ;-)

-- Dave - Minneapolis

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1235 days


#10 posted 11-23-2018 01:07 PM


... had something informative....
- Dave Polaschek

Oh, Oh D’P’, may I be flailed

1,000 times, here in Churchill informatives get sentenced of 10 years in jail or 1 week in the kitchen… fortunately we get the choice… jail every time!

Just as an FYI, I’ve actually turned more roses (into pens) than cat turds in my back yard… and believe me… it’s BS that they bury it… I have 7 (cats that is), from just one neighbour that will substantiate that crappy fact!

PS. If you have a lathe, try turning a clipping of the 2.5m… guaranteed you’ll be amazed at the result… guaranteed, or I’ll make a sacrifice of one of the 7 to whichever god you nominate.

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

View Dave Polaschek's profile

Dave Polaschek

3856 posts in 996 days


#11 posted 11-23-2018 02:04 PM

Sounds like a plan. Thanks again for the information, painful though it must be.

I don’t have a lathe yet, but am keeping my eye out for a cheap treadle sewing machine which I will transform into one. And I’m doing my first experiment with wood stabilizing this morning, so I’ve got that going for me, too.

-- Dave - Minneapolis

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6223 posts in 2618 days


#12 posted 11-24-2018 06:33 AM

BOOMCFP

Branch out of my councils footpath.

I have a branch you may be interested in,
Bloody thing snaped off up high and landed in my tomato plants.

Not only did it total my dearly beloved tomato plants it managed to Knock down two ferns in the process as well.
So I am not happy!

If you want it I will arrange the Brisbane council to ship it to you free of charge GRRRR

Have a look at the brown mark on the trunk its where I was propagating some protected plants.
Now lying destituted on top of my wire fence, that monster has been there for a few years now …struck down in its prime.

Maybe you could fashion a pen the shape of a but plug for me so I could send it to the council and they could practice writing while twerking!!

Dave: you should get LBD to send you his pole saw as once his wife finds what he did with her electric frypan he will be minus some appendages for sure.

Now the roses:
You can trim them right back to ground level if you want, no worries at all, and they will re-grow again nicely

-- Regards Rob

View robscastle's profile

robscastle

6223 posts in 2618 days


#13 posted 11-24-2018 06:57 AM

I thought I would be OK and able to return to the garden after the terrorist attack by Brisbane council.

I wanted to pay my last respects to the two ferns I nurtured over the years, sniffle sob, sob,
after drying my eyes I see there is actually three victims. OMG !! wail wail again, another hanky please!

I could not contain my emotions so I left to check up on my rose bush.

Here is the pruning work.

Here is the re-growth

-- Regards Rob

View Dave Polaschek's profile

Dave Polaschek

3856 posts in 996 days


#14 posted 11-24-2018 10:27 AM

Thanks, Rob. I suspect I’ll do some pruning of the roses, but it’s wintry here in Minnesota. Was above freezing yesterday, but that was just so it could rain a bit before it starts to snow later today. The rose tree in my front yard started as some tea roses which died back one winter, and whatever root-stock they were grafted to survived. I may try to keep one of the largest canes to see how large it will grow.

Sorry for the devastation wrought unto your ferns. Sounds like they should learn a lesson from the roses and be more prickly.

-- Dave - Minneapolis

View LittleBlackDuck's profile

LittleBlackDuck

2854 posts in 1235 days


#15 posted 11-25-2018 12:11 AM

rc, Sorry about the ferns (DP, it’s 5 days short of summer here and our 35°+ temperatures has turned into snow), the cold weather may have made the old man turn over in his grave… take a wrong turn and took his frustration out on your ferns… after all one of his later jobs was working for a council.

Personally, you should mulch the damaged foliage and park it on the bloody council’s doorstep… with some discreet cat shit interspersed… I can post you some! In the past when we had garbage strikes, I had no hesitation to dump my overflowing bags on the council’s steps… under the cover of darkness and balaclava on… shit never realised I could be mistaken for a terrorist nowdays… anyway the above was written by my missus and not me, in case the cops follow the audit trail!

-- If your first cut is too short... Take the second cut from the longer end... LBD

showing 1 through 15 of 16 comments

Have your say...

You must be signed in to post the comments.

DISCLAIMER: Any posts on LJ are posted by individuals acting in their own right and do not necessarily reflect the views of LJ. LJ will not be held liable for the actions of any user.

Latest Projects | Latest Blog Entries | Latest Forum Topics

HomeRefurbers.com